How to Please Your Man in Bed – A Guide to What Men Actually Want

How to please your man in bed - woman seducing man in bedroom
how to please your man in bed - woman seducing man in bedroom

IN A PERFECT WORLD every woman would know what their man wants in bed. But until then, it is ok to have questions…

  • How can you really satisfy him?
  • What will make him blow his… mind?
  • How can you make him let go and keep from always wanting control?

Spoiler: It’s mostly about your attitude

Many men indicate that they do not enjoy sex because they feel that the women they are with are not equally interested. To discover if this is a problem for you, here are some questions:

  • Do you treat sex with him like a chore that you can’t wait to get over with?
  • Do your sexual encounters have a routine and work as a checklist?
  • Does he see (and hear) any enthusiasm in you?

Your man considers sex a celebration, and he wishes you would enjoy it too.

Do not allow the challenges and pressures of life to push sex to the bottom of your list of priorities.

The ultimate turn on for your guy is seeing you enjoying sex as much as he does. Do not go through the motions, or do it out of obligation, because this is a major turn off. Make your man feel wanted; he has a strong need to be sexually desired by you.

Objectify your man a little, lust after him and let him know how much he turns you on.

After all,

There are immense benefits to sex. For instance, having orgasm releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone. Oxytocin can bring couples closer together, alleviate stress and reduce blood pressure. Who doesn’t need more of that?

Be spontaneous

You can easily fall into a rut: have sex at the same time, at the same place, all the time. Doing something unexpected will drive your man wild.

Surprise him with a wild move

Once in a while, bowl your man with a wild move. Try something erotic that he will not be able to forget soon.

Be naughty

Now and then, shed the good girl image and hold nothing back. Your man will be excited to see this other side of you. For instance, you can introduce some toys or even a mirror into the session and see yourselves in action.  It will be hot.

how to please your man in bed

Take charge

Your man would like you to dominate him once in a while. Have your own version of Shades. For instance, you can tell your man that he can’t touch, move or talk unless you tell him. If he disobeys, he is to be punished. Boss your man a little bit, telling him what to say and how to touch you. Watch him squirm and keep reminding him that you are in control.

Get rough

Sometimes, your man wants to be primal. He wants it rough, and he would be delighted to know that you want it too. Unleash the beast in him and let him know that you are having the time of your life.

Confidence is key

Confidence is the sexiest thing that you could possess. What ruins sex for many women is the insecurity that they have about their bodies.

However, it is always good to remember that your man is with you because he is attracted to you. You are more attractive to your man when you can take your clothes off than when you tell him to switch off the lights.

Your man is a visual creature, and he gets off on seeing you in all your naked glory. If you are too uncomfortable, you can try soft lighting to help you hide the flaws.

However,

The truth is that in all likelihood, your man doesn’t’ notice your little jiggles or the cellulite that you are so consumed with. He is just thrilled to be there with you naked.

Initiate sex once in a while

Once in a while, initiate the sex. Traditionally men initiate sex, but it gets old when he has to initiate every time. Indeed, it might start to feel like you are not attracted to him; like sex for you is an obligation.

So,

Stick your hand down his pants: whisper in his ear how badly you want him, wake him up with your special caresses. Whichever way you decide to initiate sex, you will make your man happy to show him that you want him too.

You don't have to be so to the point either. Just walking around in sexy underwear or putting a show of your latest dresses/clothes can work.

Remember big smile and it will sound weird but it helps to turn around or be preoccupied with something else so you aren't always looking at him. (2 reasons, one is because when you look at him he will feel as though he has to do something. This is pressure which no one wants around sex. The second one is so he can look at you without feeling obliged. i.e. he's choosing to do it himself)

Explore his fantasies

This is the absolute way to pleasure your man in a way that no other woman can. Find out his kinks and fantasies and explore them with him. What does your man dream about? What does he secretly crave? This can be tricky because he wants to share his fantasies with you, but he probably worries that you will judge or shame him.

You, therefore, have to promise your man that you will be open and accepting of his fantasies without judgment. Indeed, your man also longs to know your sexual imaginations.

So, why don’t you make a game of it?

Write out your fantasies and place them in a box. Next time you are feeling up to it, pull one fantasy out. Now, when the fantasy unfolds, you can jump right into fulfilling it. If you need some time to adjust, ask your man what he really loves about the fantasy. You might just find that the fantasy can be enacted in a different scenario that both of you will enjoy.

You will realize that as you explore your fantasies with your man, he will start to open up more about his imaginations. He will be eternally appreciative to you.

The foreplay

Sex experts say that the build-up to sex can be just as much or even more enjoyable than the sex itself. The anticipation, the suspense, and the passion of what’s to come are exhilarating for your man.

The thigh rub

When you are out during a date, or movie or dinner, stroke his thigh with slow movements, moving up towards his groin. Nothing turns your man on like being teased and at the same time knowing that he cannot make love to you there and then. See him get excited and then leave him longing to take you home and whisk you into the bedroom.

The striptease

The sight of you scantily dressed and moving around provocatively will drive your man mad. Select your sexiest lingerie or the one that he loves. Put on some sensual music that will help you strip tease with ease. Go ahead and mesmerize your man.

Touch him

One male organ may be getting all the attention during sex, but your man has other erogenous zones: the chest, the face, inner thighs, and his earlobes.

The results of a study that appeared in the Archives of Sexual Behavior indicated that men care more about cuddling than actually having sex. The study further found that men require three times more touching to create the same amount of dopamine, the feel-good hormone as compared to women.

As a result, caressing, kissing, cuddling and tenderness are more important to your man than you could ever imagine. Put effort into giving your man full body embraces, soothing strokes and kisses for an incredible bonding with him.

Change positions

Nothing kills your sex life like routine. Unfortunately, sex experts indicate that many couples only ever use two to six sex positions.

If you have been together for some time, your man probably craves something different now and then. It is understandable that you have your favorite positions. However, changing positions for different stimulation nourishes your sex life like nothing else could.

Some positions will enable your man go deeper, while some help him to feel other parts of you more efficiently, which he will really love.

Different sex positions are like spices: they give one dish different tastes

Did you know: According to sex experts, there are more than 245 different sex positions

At the end of the night…

Sex can help many stressors in your relationship, but like everything else, you have to put effort.

Further, you must beware of other issues in your relationship that may affect your love life: unresolved issues, anger, and resentment.

Ensure you quickly solve your problems, and whatever you do, do not use sex as a weapon – this will only cause more damage to your relationship.

Thanks for reading this guide on how to please your man in bed

10 Signs He Wants a Divorce Even When He Says Everything is OK

Signs he wants a divorce - Man and woman on couch not speaking

WHEN YOU THINK YOUR MARRIAGE is in trouble, it's natural to want all the information you can gather

The fact is that there is only one person who can provide you with this information – your husband. Unfortunately, the highest likelihood is that he will not be forthcoming…

He may still be undecided

Your husband may not be talking about divorce because he has genuinely not decided if he is going to leave. There may be times when he is away from you and he is sure that he wants to leave. But when he spends time with you or he sees the children, he changes his mind and wishes things could go well between you.

Also, if your husband really cares about your marriage, he may still want to give your marriage the best chance for survival. Even if you press him for information, what you get may be premature because he also doesn't know what he wants at this point.

10 Signs your husband wants a divorce

All marriages go through phases of doubts, fights, blame, and tension. Just because you are going through a difficult period in your marriage does not mean that your marriage is in trouble.

Some signs of a breaking marriage are obvious while others are subtle. Noticing warning signs is essential in salvaging your marriage or ensuring that you do not get the short end of the stick should your husband go through with the divorce.

1. There is no communication

One of the pillars of a healthy marriage is effective communication. Although lack of communication may have contributed to the deterioration of your relationship, further changes in your husband’s communication patterns may signal that it is truly over.

2. He attacks you instead of the problem

When you discuss the issues in your marriage;

  • Does your husband do it in a way that implies something is wrong with you?
  • Are you always wrong while he is always right?
  • Does he end up attacking your character or personality instead of focusing on the issues?
  • Does he use generalization; ‘you always,’ ‘you never…….’
  • Do you lately feel under attack from your husband anytime you have a serious discussion?

This is could be an indication that your husband is no longer interested in the marriage.

3. Your husband expresses his contempt towards you

You will notice that his comments towards you have changed from affectionate to critical. He will criticize your weight, appearance and everything else in between.

Does your husband mock you, call you names, roll his eyes or becomes hurtfully sarcastic when you bring issues up? Does he attack your self-worth? Your husband is no longer interested in solving issues, an indication that he is no longer interested in this marriage.

4.  Your husband is always on the defensive

Your husband treats every discussion like an attack. He keeps acting like a victim and makes lots of excuses. He will ignore everything you say and counter it with complaints. He will also stonewall and walk out of conversations.

These signs show that your husband is no longer interested in communicating with you and he no longer cares about how your arguments turn out. They also indicate that he thinks that finding a solution is pointless.

This behavior also shows that your husband has stopped caring and he is unwilling to put any more emotional investment in something he no longer believes in.

5. Change of focus

Is your husband spending more time away from home than normal? Has he put more of himself into his work, business, children, friendships or hobbies? Does he seem to care more about his appearance? Has he changed his looks significantly?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, your husband might be working towards a divorce. Also, if your husband has made significant changes in his routine, he could be building a separate social life in preparation for divorce or dating.

6. Your husband has started to move money around

Is your husband transferring money around without informing you? Probably withdrawing from the joint account or having salary deposited into a new account under his name?

Maybe he used to receive bonuses at work but he has not received them for some time, yet you know that he should be receiving them. He is either supporting someone else or anticipating a split.

A sudden change in behavior concerning money could be a sign that your husband wants to leave the marriage. This is especially the case if you have been making your financial decisions together. If his behavior is inconsistent with previous agreements, it is the clearest indication that your relationship is on the rocks.

Divorce never starts without careful financial planning. Your husband’s peculiar interest in financial matters is probably an indication that he is seeing an attorney who is asking him questions that he does not have an answer to.

7. Hidden Assets

One of the most obvious red flags for an impending divorce is your husband hiding assets.

You may notice new bank statements in the mail or realize that old statements are no longer coming. You may also find that you can no longer log into online Accounts. You may realize that your husband is lying about taxes and income.

If you notice suspicious activities of this nature, it could mean that your husband is hiding assets. Likely to protect them from the property division part of the upcoming divorce.

8. Your husband has withdrawn his affection

If your husband has become emotionally distant, this is a strong indication that he has checked out of the marriage.

Although it is common for the frequency of sexual intercourse to fluctuate in the course of a marriage, what is not normal is for a husband to avoid any form of intimacy with you.

If you realize that your husband rebuffs your efforts to be intimate with him, he is probably sharing that intimacy with another person and considering a divorce.

9. Your husband is reluctant to make joint decisions about the future

Is your husband reluctant to discuss the possibility of having another child? Does he no longer want to invest in a new home, even when you have considered it in the past, and you can afford it? What about vacations and plans for the summer? Is he avoiding a discussion about those too?

If your husband has suddenly stopped participating in decisions involving your future together, it is a huge red flag. The reason for your husband’s refusal to commit to the future could be that he doesn’t see you having one together.

10. Your husband withdraws physically

When you first met you were always physically close. There was plenty of sex and it was great. Now he seems withdrawn.

Some men have a hard time being physical with a woman they feel detached from. So him pulling away from sex can be a sign.

So what now..?

Just because your husband is exhibiting these behavior doesn’t mean he is definitely filing for a divorce. It could simply indicate that there is trouble in your relationship and if you act now, you could turn things around before matters get any worse.

If you answered yes to 5 or more of the points above then it's time to take action. It's quite unlikely with this many signs that it is a coincidence.

If you are not sure what the next steps are to recovering your marriage then there are specialists who can help. You can look at going to marriage counseling which is more of a formal step and may help your marriage.

However, if you want to start now and/or you don't think he will agree to any formal solutions then there is another option. There are more ‘DIY' programs that specialists in marriage breakdown have put together. You can see what they have to offer here.

“My Husband Doesn’t Want Sex” – What to Do When He Withdraws from Intimacy

My husband doesnt want sex - woman frustrated with husband in bed
  • Has your husband stopped loving you?
  • Is there another woman?
  • What happened to his sexual desire?  
  • Does he really care?

These thoughts can go round and round in your head when your husband withdraws sexually. But although you may feel alone, you are not the only one this happens to. This story repeats itself in many bedrooms all over the world.

The myth that men want to have sex all the time is simply not accurate

According to experts, almost all marriages go through periods when the husband experiences lower sex drive than his wife.

A study that appeared in the Live Science Magazine revealed that 14.4 per cent of the men surveyed indicated having experienced lack of sexual desire lasting two or more months within the previous year. Another research showed that 15% to 16% of men lose interest in sex at some point in their lives.

Contrary to popular belief, men and women are not that different concerning sexuality and desire. Experts say that in marriage, it is about 50 / 50. 50% of the time, the wife demands sex more than the husband while 50% of the time, the husband wants sex and the wife doesn’t.

Why doesn’t your husband want to have sex with you?

According to the sex therapists, lack of sex is a symptom, not the root of problems in your marriage. It is truly not about sex. Sex does not happen in a vacuum; it occurs within the quality and context of your relationship. Therefore, emotional disconnection, stress, communication problems, and health issues: all these will affect your husband’s ability and willingness to have sex with you.

Some of the reasons why your husband may not be having sex with you include:

He is depressed and not feeling like he wants to have sex

Your husband’s sex drive is wrapped up in his concept of manhood. When he feels like a man, he will want to make love. On the other hand, if he feels like he has lost his masculinity, he won’t. So, the question begs, what does it take for your husband to not feel like a man? When:

  • Your husband is not making any progress at his workplace
  • He feels like he is not achieving his dreams and goals
  • He feels like he is letting you down
  • There is extreme tension in your marriage, and he feels like he doesn’t have a solution

All these can radically decrease your husband’s interest in sex. A man whose masculinity is scarred will definitely have his sexual desire affected.

Your husband is struggling to connect with you on an emotional level

This may be news to you if you believe that only women need to bond emotionally to take pleasure in sex. If you have been emotionally distant from your husband because of pressures at work or other commitments, you may have made him feel unloved and neglected. Your husband should never feel unappreciated or as if you are merely tolerating him: He will find it hard to be intimate with you.

He is no longer attracted to you

If there has been a lot of negative energy in your relationship, your husband might desire you less. Are you always nagging your husband, criticizing him and putting him down? Evaluate your treatment of your husband and see whether you could be doing anything to drive him away.

The same will happen if your husband feels like you have lost respect for him. No matter how long the two of you have been married; your husband still needs to feel that he is a hero to you.

Experts also indicate that weight gain and changes in your appearance might affect your husband’s attraction to you. The problem isn’t love; it is sex.

He may be having an affair

If you have done all you can to revive your husband’s interest in making love and still been unsuccessful, an extramarital affair probably explains it.

A man who has transferred his desire elsewhere will not desire to have sex with you. He may not even be having an affair but he is probably involved with pornography, or he is having an affair with himself; engaging in too much masturbation. All these things can definitely contribute to your husband feeling less concerned about engaging in sex with you.

Low sex drive

Your husband could be dealing with low libido. Physical issues like underlying sicknesses and low testosterone will undoubtedly cause low sex drive. The good thing with this issue is that it is easy to fix as long as your husband visits a doctor. So, what can you do to rekindle the intimacy with your husband?

Acknowledge that there is a problem

The first thing that you must do is raise the issue with your husband. How you bring up the subject with your husband will significantly determine your success in solving the problem. Your husband, like many other men, will find it hard to talk about his loss of desire for sex.

Experts indicate that masculinity and virility are intimately connected. Your husband will, therefore, be uncomfortable with self-disclosure. Remember, if he especially has a low sex drive, he is terrified even to think that he doesn’t desire sex, let alone admit it.

This topic might be embarrassing and even humiliating for your husband, so how you communicate with him is very crucial.

If he is no longer attracted to you

If your husband just doesn’t desire to have sex with you anymore, this is the clearest indication of underlying issues in your relationship. Do you and your husband have unresolved issues? Is your emotional connection what it used to be when you first got married? Does your husband still feel respected and admired by you? Is he still attracted to you? How is the communication with your husband?

Express genuine desire to know what the problem is and show your willingness to work with your husband to make your relationship fulfilling to both of you once again.

If he is experiencing low libido

If your husband lets out that he is having a physical issue like erectile dysfunction, do not panic or overreact. Making a big deal out of your husband’s problem will make him even more nervous about his performance. He may eventually shut down.

Ban sex for a while

This measure may sound counterproductive, but as you and your husband seek a solution to the problem, you should try some non-sexy things: Taking baths together, giving each other massages. This will take the pressure off your husband as he actively seeks for a solution to the problem.

Your husband carries a heavy burden

Whatever the reason for the decrease in sexual desire, your husband is already carrying a heavy load and probably feels as alone in his pain as you.

The anger, pain, and confusion you feel for your husband’s inability or unwillingness to meet your needs for love and sexual fulfilment cannot compare with the burden of inadequacy that your husband carries.

He yearns to be a competent husband. His sense of accomplishment and confidence is tied to his ability to perform in all areas, including sexually.

You are not the victim

As such, when approaching your husband, start from a place of curiosity instead of blame. Let him know that you love him and you want your marriage to work. Let him feel that you are a team and you will get through the problem together.

Your reassurance, acceptance, affirmation and comfort will significantly speed up your husband’s recovery process. Be gentle and empathetic with your husband and let him know that you are willing to work with him through whatever the issue is.

EXPERT ADVICE – “I Cheated On My Husband Now He Wants A Divorce”

I Cheated on My Husband now He Wants a Divorce - Man handing back ring

I Cheated on My Husband now He Wants a Divorce - Man handing back ring

IF YOU ARE trying to dig yourself out of the enormity of an affair, and now you desire to fight for your marriage, this article is for you.

But first things first. Can your marriage be saved? The answer is yes!

It is very possible to rebuild your marriage if you are willing to do the work. Experts in relationship breakdown indicate that your ability to save your marriage has less to do with the circumstances of the affair but the responses of both you and your husband towards the affair.

Marriages do not end because of the infidelity; they end because of how infidelity is dealt with. Psychology Today.

Caroline Madden, a marriage therapist, indicates that couples divorce after affairs because the betrayed spouse simply gives up trying when the cheating spouse continues to be shady, selfish and untrustworthy.

In a study, the highest divorce rate was among couples who had secret infidelity at 80%. In contrast in marriages where the affair did come to light, the divorce rate was 43%.

The study had further good news for couples who stayed together after an affair. Both infidelity and non-infidelity couples had similar levels of marital stability, and they were indistinguishable in their relationship satisfaction at the five-year mark.

So, you see, your affair is devastating but it is not necessarily disastrous for the long haul. Your marriage can rise from these ashes and thrive once again.

Take full responsibility for the affair

This seems obvious, but it is not. Many times, wives justify their affair by blaming their husband. ‘He was not meeting all my needs, so I turned to another man'. Here’s the truth; no matter what state your marriage was in when you cheated, you made the decision to be unfaithful.

You had other choices. There were certainly contributing factors in your decision to break your marriage vows. However, you must take full responsibility for your decision.

Do not justify your infidelity! Do not give excuses and flimsy reasons. Do not blame your husband for your actions!

Look your husband in the eye and sincerely apologize; without any Buts!  Tell your husband that you will do whatever it takes to fix the situation and help him heal from the pain that you have caused him.

Server your relationship with the other man

The priority right now is to help your husband to recover, which may involve significant life changes. An affair with someone in your social groups means that you may have to change your friends; an affair at work may mean that you find another job.

The bottom line is, do whatever it takes to server all contacts with the third party.

Rebuild your husband’s trust

You must commit to live a transparent life in order to win your husband’s trust.

Prepare to be more open and honest than you have ever been. Your husband will want to know where you are and what you are doing, and obviously with who.

And you're going to have to deal with this until he trusts you again. You did major damage to the trust in your marriage and be willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild that trust:

  • Be consistent
  • Always be on time
  • Do what you say will do

Answer all your husband’s questions

Your husband will want a lot of information: who, what, when, where, why, including the gory details. Your natural inclination will be to lessen the blow by withholding information. Unfortunately, the truth always comes out in time. Withholding information will destroy any hope of rebuilding trust.

According to Caroline Madden, a marriage therapist, earning back your husband’s trust calls for you to be upfront with him about the extent of the affair. Caroline indicates many spouses who have been cheated on leave the marriage not because of the affair, but because of the drip, drip, drip, of the truth.

Just when the spouse is getting used to the facts that have been revealed and is starting to adjust and trust again, more information surfaces. Be completely honest at the very beginning so that your husband can decide if he can forgive you with his eyes wide open.

Bear in mind that your husband’s life has been turned upside down and he needs all the information in order to make sense of it. It is not up to you but up to your husband to determine what he needs to know.

Why talking about it is important

Equally important in answering your husband’s questions is that you should be willing to keep answering them for as long as they need to ask. It is this willingness that demonstrates your commitment to the marriage.

Research by Dr. Peggy Vaughn revealed that couples are likely to save their marriage after infidelity when they thoroughly discuss the whole situation. Her study showed that:

  • 55% of a couple who discussed the situation very little was still married
  • 78% of couples who addressed the situation a good bit remained married
  • 86% of couples who discussed the unfaithfulness a lot remained married.

Thus, the extent to which a couple discussed the affair was significantly associated with the likelihood of saving the marriage.

In addition, Dr. Vaughn’s research revealed that a couple is more likely to remain married when the cheating spouse answered their partner’s questions.

  • 59% of those who refused to answer questions remained married.
  • 81% of couples whose cheating partner responded to some of their questions remained married
  • 86% of couples whose offending partners answered all their partner’s questions remained married

Thus, the extent to which the cheating spouse responded to questions was significantly associated with the degree of success in saving the marriage.

Patience! Patience! Patience!

Patience will be one of your greatest tools in getting through the process of rebuilding your marriage. Just because you feel that you have done all you could to deal with the situation, or think that you have dealt with it long and deeply enough does not mean your husband feels the same way.

Your husband is the one who was betrayed. It is unrealistic for you to decide when the affair should be a closed chapter. Efforts to move on will be futile until your husband feels that he has healed.

Recommit to your husband

Reiterate to your husband that you are all in and you are willing to do whatever it takes to fight for your relationship. Do not be in a hurry to move on. If you want to truly save your marriage, you and your husband should ask yourselves a few essential questions:

  • How did you get here? In other words, what are the underlying reasons for the affair? Experts encourage that you both spend a lot of time pondering and reflecting on this question.
  • What does your husband need to heal completely? (e.g., he may require that you seek professional counseling)
  • What are you doing to ensure that another affair doesn’t happen? You need to learn how to establish boundaries in your other relationships because affairs are essentially boundary violations.
  • If you move forward in this marriage what are you committing to? This might be the single most important question you can address as a couple as you move forward. An honest discussion of this question will enable you to reboot your relationship.

Experts say that recovery from infidelity is no different than any other serious life challenge. Contained within its experience are both pain and opportunity. Together with your husband, you can leverage this opportunity to rebuild a fantastic marriage.

What Now…?

You can birth a new marriage from the ashes and debris of the impending divorce and create a legacy of renewal.

Think of what an incredible experience to work through what could be defeat and come out on top. You will be stronger. Your marriage will be stronger, and your family would be stronger.

There is nothing like adversity to make a relationship stronger.

So if you have decided you want to keep your marriage together, it's time to get practical about it

Getting practical about saving your marriage

For instance, how will you deal with these situations…?

  • How will you help your husband get over the pain of being cheated on?
  • What will you tell the kids about the change in your relationship they have noticed?
  • What will your daily routine look like if your husband says he wants some space and decides to move to another room or out of the house?

Although these questions are a little uncomfortable, they are something you need to think of

But you aren't the first person in this situation… and there are resources that can help you along the way

For more in-depth information and advice on repairing a marriage, I recommend watching this short video

It explains how you can save your marriage, even if you are the only one trying

If it feels like he wants to throw in the towel, then this video might be the most important video that you ever watch

If you have any questions or comments relating to this topic you can contact me here

Best of luck,

Randy

“My Husband is Giving Up On Our Marriage… What Do I Do?”

husband is giving up on our marriage - wife tossing up whether to wear wedding ring

My Husband is Giving Up On Our Marriage - wife tossing up whether to wear wedding ring

IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE to save your marriage when your husband has clearly indicated that he wants out?

Should you give up and accept that your marriage is over?

The answer is that it is never too late to save your marriage.

You might simply be at the turning point in your marriage. You might have hit rock bottom.

Sometimes, it is not until things couldn’t get any worse that they start to get better.

Why do spouses give up on marriage?

Reason #1

After some time in the marriage, a spouse may become disillusioned.

They may feel that many of their expectations have been unmet and they start mourning their pre-marriage life.

If this is the case, then he thinks that leaving the relationship feels like the key to finding happiness once again. As a result, he will be unwilling to engage in any conversation about staying married.

Because he thinks that being married is what is making him unhappy.

Reason #2

Some spouses feel that they have lost the love they once had and the only solution is to bail out.

The truth is…

However, experts indicate that every healthy relationship goes through various stages.

ALL relationships will lose the original passion at some stage.  As life creeps in, responsibilities and the pressures of security get in the way of the both of you. He might feel that the intimacy and sex have suffered as a result.

My Husband is Giving Up On Our Marriage - wife at counselling trying while husband has given up

Why you shouldn’t give up on your marriage even when your spouse has bailed out

You can go it alone and save your marriage.

Many wives think that they need their husbands to work with them to fix their marriage. The reality is that you can single-handedly change the momentum of your relationship.

Your determination may be just what will motivate your obstinate husband to join in the process of saving your marriage.

1. It is the right thing to do

You owe it to yourself to give saving your marriage your best shot.

You always have the option to call it quits, but once you give up, that’s it. There are no more chances.

If you did ever end your marriage, you don’t want to have the slightest doubt about what might have happened if you had tried harder. If you have to end it, you want to know without any shred of doubt that you did everything you could to save your marriage.

2. You are not alone

Another reason why you should not give up on your marriage is that according to research, more than 32 million individuals are struggling in their marriages this very minute.

Many times, it might feel as if all other marriages are flourishing and only yours is ailing. Many other people are facing extreme challenges in their marriages, and they are working day and night to make it work.

And do you know what, some of these people will find a way out. If you hang in there, you could be among the people who save their marriages from the verge of breakup.

3. It IS NOT wasted effort

Working on your broken marriage is a good investment for the rest of your life, whether your marriage succeeds or not.

It is a fantastic pay off if you turn your marriage around, but even if you don’t, it will not be wasted effort. Indeed it will be the most important thing you will have done for yourself and your next relationship.

If you do not get complete closure in your marriage, relationships are going to be a revolving door for you. Soon, you will find yourself in the same situation you are with your husband with someone else.

Work on your marriage with every intention of restoring it, but, even if you don’t succeed, the effort will not have been in vain.

4 Tips on how to save your marriage when you are the only one trying

1. Agree with your husband

Your husband wants to walk away because this marriage makes him miserable. Do not try to convince him to stay.

Instead,

Agree with him: that you also no longer want the marriage you have had, mainly because he is unhappy and you would never want that for him. Agree that this marriage should be over.

Then,

Let your husband know you want to consider a new relationship with him.

This will allow you to get on the same page with your husband. It will no longer be you vs. him. He will feel like you have listened to him, and you understand how he feels.

This in itself will go some way to rekindling the connection with you. You might even ignite a marriage saving conversation.

The worst mistake you can make right now is to cling and beg your husband to stay

All the emotions you are feeling right now are powerful and authentic. But they serve no purpose in helping you save your marriage.

Pleading, clinging and begging will only drive your husband away faster.

Also, when you fall apart, you will be very unattractive to your husband.

When he sees that the situation he is putting you in is making you upset/angry/unhappy he will want to put an end to it. And the fast way for him to do that is to leave himself.

2. Get to work on yourself

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, work on yourself physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually.

Whatever your age, make yourself as physically attractive to your husband as you can. He was physically attracted to you once: he can be attracted to you again.

You cannot go back to looking like the age you did when you met your husband, but you can be the best that you can be at your age.

Your husband doesn't want a supermodel. He just wants you to try your best for him. It shows him that you still care.

Also, stimulate your mind by learning new things: join a book club, take a class, read magazines that expand your mind, take a new hobby.

When you get an opportunity to talk with your husband, engage him in something interesting and fun rather than talking about your marital issues.

Talking about the problems in your relationship at this point will only lead to arguments and make things much worse.

3. Be as understanding and accepting of your husband as you can be

You don’t have to accept your husband’s decision, but you can accept his feelings. Do not question or judge his feelings.

When he feels that you understand him, he will be assured that you truly love him. Listen to your husband, show empathy, and you will pique his interest once again.

4. Be willing to forgive

You are frustrated and probably resent your husband. You feel he has rejected you by checking out of your marriage.

However, you cannot hope to rebuild a healthy relationship with him if you hold anger and bitterness towards him. You must accept that he is probably doing the best that he can with the skills that he has. He isn’t out to hurt you.

The process of saving your marriage will only work if you love your husband enough to forgive him. Forgiving your husband will empower you to do whatever it takes to change the course of his intentions.

Where to go from here…?

In the face of a marital crisis, someone has to be the brave one, and that person is you.

Saving your marriage is a noble task. Give it your all and do not lose hope. Your marriage can not only survive this disruption, but you can also use this crisis as a springboard towards real transformation.

Many marriages have risen from the verge of divorce to thrive once again. This can be your testimony if you handle this setback the right way.

 

Thanks for reading this guide on ‘My husband is giving up on our marriage'. I hope it has answered some questions for you. For more information, join the Manage Your Man mailing list.

The 10 Best Books About Love And Relationships to Help You Understand Your Man

books about love and relationships - Woman reading with man in library

books about love and relationships - Woman reading with man in library

IT'S FUNNY HOW AS MEN we expect our partners to know…

    • What we're thinking
    • How we're feeling
      and
    • What our expectations are

But for some reason… we don't tell our partners

Here to reveal what actually makes us tick are the 10 insightful books below

They'll to turn you from ‘Nun-level-man-knowledge' into a ‘Man-psychic'

Although when you get there, I wouldn't start explaining to your husband what he's going to do next…

Enjoy

1. His Secret Obsession – James Bauer

Discover his single most important drive in life

His Secret Obsession - Digital copies only available

What is the missing ingredient in your marriage? Do you suffer from a lack of communication, romance, or sex?

While all of these issues are very important, James Bauer's breakthrough book, ‘His Secret Obsession‘ reveals the one amazing factor that WILL make a MAJOR difference in your relationship.

If you are tired of your man being cold and standoffish, then this is the one book you need to read! Learn:

  • What men secretly want but will never tell you
  • How to enjoy a deeper more loving relationship
  • How you can get his attention the right way by using some simple conversation starters

Read my in-depth review here or go straight to the website

2. Text the Romance Back – Michael Fiore

How to really capture his attention…

Text the Romance Back - Michael Fiore

Does it seem like you and your significant other have watched the romance in your relationship slowly slip away?

Michael Fiore will show you how to put modern technology to work for you. He explains how texting lends itself to recreating that connected feeling and how you can Text the Romance” back into your relationship.

Discover:

  • Why the way couples communicate makes it the main reason so many marriages fall apart
  • The 8 different types of text messages that he has no choice but to listen to
  • Done-for-you messages that you can send within 5 minutes of receiving your copy of ‘Text the Romance Back

Read a more in-depth review here or get your copy here

3. Devotion System – Amy North

Get your man to recommit….

The Devotion System - Amy North

There's nothing more demoralizing than being in a relationship in which your partner decides he isn't sure what he wants

If you are tired of feeling like your man is waiting to see what the wind might blow in then “The Devotion System” is just what you need

Learn;

  • Why men pull away
  • How to put texting to work to draw him in
  • How to get your man to dream about spending the rest of his life with you

This book is easy to follow and comes with several bonuses. Grab your copy here and rediscover how to keep him devoted to you

There's also a detailed review here.

4. For Women Only- Shaunti Feldhahn

A Christian guide to understanding men

Most men keep their feelings close to their chest. And while he might not want to talk about them, he still wants you to “get” him

In “For Women Only“, best-selling author Shaunti Feldhahn explains men from a Christian viewpoint in a way that's easy to follow and simple to understand.

This book is filled with practical ideas that have helped millions around the world make successful changes to their relationship. Including;

• Why your respect means more to him than your love
• How he feels deep inside about his role as provider
• What it means for a man to be so visually “wired”
• Why sex for him is primarily emotional, not physical
• What he most wishes he could say to you

What are you waiting for? Get your copy and read other reviews here

5. The Male Brain – Louann Brezindine

A scientific look at the male brain

Ever wondered why boys can't sit still and why their interest in the physical side of sex is so strong?

In this breakthrough follow-up to her best-selling book “The Female Brain,” author Louann Brezindine uses easy to understand anecdotes to decode the male mind.

In doing so, she turns scientific gobbledygook into an enjoyable read. Learn:

  • How hormones affect men as they reach puberty
  • The cutting-edge research that overturns everything you thought you knew about the male brain
  • The typical male stereotypes that don't exist anymore

This book is a bit broader than the others, so if you're into a more holistic approach to the subject of men get your copy here

6. What We Guys Really Want, Really – Bryan Bruce

How to make him happy…

In his ‘ultimate guide to the male psychology and sexual behavior', Bryan Bruce delves the reader deep into the male psyche

And the outcome is that it's not as complex as many women think it is. In fact in this book you will learn:

  • The truth behind why men cheat
  • Why they are afraid of committing
  • How men reveal their real selves just by their actions

Based on scientific research, useful and loaded with good advice this book is definitely a primer for those who want to keep their man

The only caveat is that it does make men look a little simple in places. But if you want to keep it simple, then he will thank you for reading this (in his own way that you'll only understand by reading this).

Get your copy here.

7. Texts So Good He Can't Ignore – Bruce Bryans

Texts so good he'll be begging to see you….

Everyone says texting has no feeling, yet in “Texts So Good He Can't Ignore You,” Bruce Bryans teaches you how to use a mans emotions to capture his attention.

He shows you how to make your texts to men stand out from those ones you usually send about picking up some more milk. Learn:

  • How men appraise the texts sent by a woman
  • How to flirt and tease your way to becoming his number one priority
  • Sample texts you can copy and send to get instant results

Bruce will show you how your texts can make him pursue you again like he used to.

When you're ready to make the most out of every text, then your copy for ‘Texts So Good He Can't Ignore' is here

8. The 7 Irresistible Qualities Men Want in A Woman – Bruce Bryans

Learn what it takes to get a man to commit

In his concise book, Bruce Bryans talks about what a “high-quality” man wants in his mate.

To do this, Bruce shows you how to understand what your man is interested. He also covers plenty of other topics including:

  • Learn what it takes to get a man to commit
  • How to keep your man happy
  • What real men find attractive

This book is more opinion than fact and is written primarily for single women, but has enough advice for relationships to be relevant here.

Want to know what the 7 qualities are? Find out here.

9. He Comes Next – Ian Kenner PhD

The thinking woman's guide to pleasuring a man….

In this follow up to his smash hit bestseller “She Comes First,” author Ian Kenner discusses what it takes to turn a man on and keep him turned on

Included is how to get your man to relax and enjoy a full range of stimulation rather than focusing on his erection (or lack thereof) and orgasm (or lack thereof)

Ian goes step-by-step with clear, concise details for every technique he discusses in the book with the goal of teaching you how to give your man the ultimate in sexual pleasure. He also covers:

  • What he wants to tell you about pleasing him, but can't
  • The inside of a man's mind when he is aroused
  • How love and sex are interconnected for men

This book has had some mixed reviews, but overall the information is good. Get your copy and start pleasing him how he wants to be pleased here.

10. Secret Survey – Michael Fiore

The ultimate guide to understanding men….

Secret Survey - Michael Fiore

Secret Survey by Michael Fiore is the perfect program for any woman who has ever felt lost, confused, even overwhelmed when trying to deal with men

It is a step-by-step, full-length guide to relationships and what you should be doing to make a long-term relationship work

Written for women, this guide is designed to help you better understand the male psyche and to put this knowledge to work for you. Included is:

  • Why you've been lied to by every man you've ever met and what they've lied about
  • What your husband actually thinks about you
  • How to interpret ‘men speak' and the real reason why men are so difficult to understand

Very easy to follow and understand this book covers a lot of questions about the man and men in your life. Get your copy here.

In Summary

Thanks for reading my best books about love and relationships recommendations. They are worth reading and I do keep this list updated. If you have anything to add, you can contact me here.