When you effectively deal with conflict, you will discover new approaches, ideas, and solutions to make your marriage even more vibrant.
If you do not solve your conflicts promptly, the wounds fester and conflicts intensify
The place of effective communication in a marriage
Conflict is not the problem in marriage; how to deal with conflict is the issue. Effective communication, therefore, becomes a large part of a successful marriage.
Research shows that communication problems are a significant indicator of marriage breakdown. 65% of marriages end in divorce when couples struggle with communication.
Research by Dr. Kirsten Grarningen of University College London revealed that communication problems are the leading cause of divorce in Britain. The trick to staving off divorce lies in having a better relationship, which is helped by having a strong communication channel between you and your husband.
First things first; why won’t your husband talk to you?
There are many reasons why your husband could go quiet on you in the face of conflict.
He does not feel safe. Is it possible that the way you respond to your husband when you discuss difficult subjects has made him dread discussing tough issues with you? Do you become defensive and argumentative whenever you discuss your relationship problems?
Your husband fears that you will not be considerate of his feelings. Do you always try to control the conversation with your husband? Do you tell him to get over his hurt already? Why should he talk to you about this critical issue when you will disregard his feelings like you have done every other time?
Your husband could be unsure about his feelings about the situation, and he wants to think them through before speaking to you.
Your husband could be worried about making a complicated issue even worse.
Important to note: you must recognize that an individual cannot not communicate. Even when your husband is not talking, he is communicating. The question is, what is he saying to you?
What to do when your husband won’t talk to you
Successful negotiation is a vital part of a healthy relationship. Your husband is avoiding negotiating with you by his silence. Unfortunately, issues will not solve themselves and they will not go away by being ignored. Your marriage needs serious attention right now.
To start the healing of your marriage, you must kick-start communication with your husband. Since verbal communication is temporarily on hold, what alternatives do you have?
Put it in writing
Sometimes an effective way to get your husband to open up is to use an unexpected method of communication. There are many practical advantages of putting your thoughts in writing:
A letter gives you more time to think about what exactly you want to convey.
It allows you to choose the right words for the message that you have in mind.
You can pour out your heart without having to worry about being interrupted or tripping over your words.
How to make the most out of your letter
You are hoping to achieve a number of things with your letter: you want to get your husband back to the negotiation table. You are also hoping that writing the letter will be the start of the journey back to reconciliation with your husband. It is therefore important that you consider how your letter is going to be perceived.
Do not focus on yourself in the letter. The most important thing right now is to focus on the feelings of your husband but not your own. ‘My heart is breaking, and I don’t know what I will do if I lose you’… You can sprinkle the letter with a few of these phrases but watch out that the entire letter is not all about you.
Your husband is dissatisfied with your marriage as it is presently. For your letter to have an impact, it must clearly show how things will be different going forward.
Hint: Men crave physical intimacy. Your husband will respond even better to references for improving your physical relationship.
A carefully written letter can be the catalyst for reconciling your marriage as long as it is followed up with the right actions. We understand that writing letters (especially emotional ones) can be daunting. Feel free to look at the sample letter below and tweak it to suit your situation.
I will never forget the elegance I saw when I first set my eyes on you. I told you every day how handsome you are (often with some irritation). You were and still are everything I want in a man: you are ambitious, hardworking and honest. You are a man of integrity and honor.
I still remember when we first met: we enjoyed each other’s company and our days were filled with laughter. I felt loved and wanted. Your zest for life was infectious. I knew then that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. That has not changed, and it will never change.
The last ten years have been adventurous. We have been blessed with our children, we have set up a thriving business, and we have bought our home. But we have also tasted the bitter side of life: we have stared at bankruptcy and survived a horrible accident. Through it all, you have been my rock.
You are smart, talented and capable and when things are happening around us, no one makes me and our children feel as whole and safe as you do. I believe in you. I know I do not say this often. Forgive me for taking you for granted.
I admit that I am not as wise as you are and I have not been as patient as you. I know that I can be a mystery to you. You are pretty steady and consistent, and I am much less so. I am more emotional and sensitive than you to things that happen.
I know that I sometimes lash out at you when things do not go my way. I frustrate you a lot of times. I admit that the way I have handled our arguments in the past was not always very constructive. I have walked out in the middle of arguments and shut you out. I now realize how damaging my behavior has been to our relationship.
I regret the many things that I have said and done that have hurt your feelings. I am sorry for not being more attentive to you. Forgive me for all the times I disrespected you and made you feel anything less than the great man you are. Forgive me for putting our marriage in jeopardy.
I have reflected deeply, and I know where I have erred. I am now willing to begin the process of changing for the better. I plead for another chance to make things right. I will respect you and listen to you patiently. I will put your concerns into consideration. I will meet your needs to the best of my ability. Please help me to put our family back together.
I miss our late night conversations. I miss your cuddles and kisses. Please talk to me.
What happens next…
Writing a letter and putting it all out there like this can be daunting. It can feel like your giving him all the power in the relationship
But to save your marriage you must show him your vulnerable side
As for how and when he will respond, give him some time to get back to you.
It might take him a while for it all to sink in, but at the same time, don't let it drag on for months
And he may not ever address the topic of the letter with you verbally again. But you will know by his actions what kind of impact it has had on him
After the letter
Sitting down somewhere quiet with a pen and paper is the first step to removing those tense and negative feelings in your marriage
The next step is about re-building that intimate, strong connection you used to share
Because it wasn't long ago that you couldn't wait to see each other again. When every meeting had some physical element in it and you used to know exactly what he smelt like and he, you.
Bonding and connecting cannot be rushed. It must be done in order to maintain a strong relationship long term.
This is the true secret to those marriages where couples seem happy all the time. She knows how to make him feel like a better man when she is around.
And it isn't all about sex or giving him the space he says he wants (he doesn't really want it)
The good news is that you can start the process, even if you are the only one trying
And start looking forward to spending time together, going out and doing all those things you used to do as a couple
Instead of going home with a knot in the pit of your stomach while trying to put on a front for everyone else
You can start today to recreate the marriage you want
It might just be the most important video you watch for the sake of your marriage
Best of luck in your situation and thanks for reading this guide on how to write a letter to husband to save marriage. If you want more tips, advice, and help on saving your marriage then join the newsletter list.
Note: This page has links that make money for ManageYourMan.com at no cost to you.
Note: This is my review of the Language Of Desire program after getting a copy and reading/listening to it. Others may experience the program differently. I have used the program and my knowledge of other programs in writing this review.
IF YOU ARE READING THIS, IT’S LIKELY that your relationship isn’t exactly where you want it to be…
And the issue at the core is that your husband isn’t as open and honest with you as you’d like. Maybe you feel like he’s keeping things, or simply not telling you what he thinks, and you're tired of being kept ‘out of the loop’ and trying to put things together yourself.
I know as a man that it’s not that I don’t want to share, it’s that I feel like my wife doesn’t really want me to share. The good news is that how to overcome this problem, is in the program.
What is the Language Of Desire in one sentence?
An upfront and honest guide on how to build and strengthen your relationship with your man using intimacy.
The Language Of Desire (LOD)… in More Detail
At its core, LOD is a written and audio program designed to show you how to get your mans attention, keep it, and build a deeper relationship between the two of you.
The how is through sex.
The reason IS NOT that you have to ‘become a slut’ but actually because sex gets a mans attention… pretty much every time. It simply plain works. Your man doesn’t want you to become a slut. But he does want you to worship him among other factors. And due to the kids, the house, our careers and life in general, these factors get forgotten about or neglected in our relationships.
As well as the fact that we don’t really get taught how to build strong relationships, have great sex and increase our levels of intimacy with a partner… the only places that talk about these topics are movies, magazines, celebrity-based websites, and maybe friends…
But none of these are really great teachers.
Enter Felicity Keith
She had enough of what others were telling her because it wasn’t working. So she decided to figure it out for herself. And the Language Of Desire program is her manifesto/little-black-book. Her tell-all guide on what she found, and more importantly, how you can make a difference in your relationship with your man.
One of the best parts of this program is that it cuts the crap. (Which is why I was interested enough to get a copy and review it in the first place).
Simply put there are things that you can do to turn your intimacy around. And this book covers many of them.
It doesn’t cover everything. But if you're looking for something to do to get your intimacy back on the right track, or want something you can do pretty much straight away. This will give you those tools, techniques, and tips.
There’s also the reasons why covered in this program. Why a particular technique works, and what issue you are potentially solving with it. As well as how you can customize what you are doing to really get his attention.
For example, LOD reveals the tricks porn companies use to seduce men and keep them coming back for more. It also discloses exactly how women act in porn and exactly why it turns men on so much.
You will also learn why what you are currently doing is not working, and how your man sees it through his eyes. It’s a great eye opener as your actions may not convey what you are trying to tell him.
There is also a section in this program about how to get what you want. And how to supercharge your intimacy in your relationship, and bring him closer (the science behind that is in the program).
So without further adieu:
Note: If you want to go straight to the pros and cons and my verdict, then keep scrolling down in the review. The next section covers what you actually get in the program.
What’s In Each Module In The Program
Module One: Introduction
Module Two: Become a Sexual Superwoman
Learn to dump your fear over the “slut” label
Determine your sexual boundaries
Discover your growl-inducing Madonna Moan
Module Three: Loving Man’s Best Friend (hint: it’s not his dog)
Understand the secrets of his sex drive
Learn why his penis is so important to him
Rethink pornography (this one is controversial!)
Learn The Porn Destroyer
Module Four: Brain Chemistry and Sex
Explore how desire and sex work with our primitive brain
Using the potent Cuddle Hormone technique
Have fun with Pavlov’s Erection technique
Learn the power of Sexual Singularity
Module Five: Create an Erotic Action Movie
Make him the star of your own sexy movie script
Writing your script step by step
Learn a variety of ways to share your movie with him
Module Six: Desire Intensifiers
Masterfully crank up the sexual heat
Make him pant with desire with the Tease Intensifier
Learn a blow job to blow his mind with the Oral Intensifier
Snap “him” to attention with Verbal Viagra
Module Seven: For the Single Ladies
Use dirty talk effectively when dating
Get him to commit with the Monogamous Male Maximizer
How to go from Friend-Zone to Fantasy Girl
Module Eight: Getting Your Fantasies Met
Planting desire seeds
Have dirty fun with The Lust Mirror technique
Practically read his mind using Erotic Telepathy
Make him your hero with the Romance Rotator
Explore your kinky side with 50 Shades of Experimenting
Module Nine: When “Sex” Isn’t Possible
Getting around life’s sexual obstacle course
Learn how to be dirty from a distance
Use the No Touch Lay to keep things hot
Learn about the Invisible Chastity Belt (it’s more fun than it sounds)
Module Ten: Master Class
What if he’s a cold fish
Fine-tune your technique
Plan out your dirty deeds
Language Of Desire Bonus Content
This 12 page text guide is the body language accompaniment to the Language Of Desire program. The guide includes how to use your body to send signals straight to his subconscious brain, and how to amp up attraction and his attention when your out in a social group together. Caters for both single and those in a relationship.
Some good insights, some general knowledge, and plenty of techniques. This quick read is at the very least a good reminder of how to subtly get the message across and keep his attention squarely fixed on you.The techniques are kind of blunt so discretion is advised while practising them in public. Overall a good addition as there is something here for every woman.
Good Girl's Guide to Texting Dirty
This 15 page text guide includes 200 text messages to help you get over your creative block when it comes to getting things started with your man. The texts involve one liners, all the way through to intimate stories and private conversations over text. There are some introductory information here as well if your wondering which type of message you should pick.
A lot of templated text messages. This will help even the more subdued and shy get the message across. There are different types of messages including direct and indirect here, something for everyone. A great way for both of you to start the day.
Unstoppable Confidence with Michael Griswold
This 90 minute audio (with transcription) is an interview with the relationship coach Michael Griswold (interviewed by Michael Fiore.) It covers:
The one most desirable trait that men find in a woman (it isn’t what you think it is)
The two things (Michael G thinks) a woman needs to do to get a man to fall in love with her
The three types of women Michael sees when doing his relationship work
… Along with many other areas of interest
This 90 minute conversation includes some new insights and different ways of looking at different relationship dynamics. It is quite casual (almost like a conversation) and a lot is covered. This isn’t going to suit everyone. The particular information along with how it is delivered isn’t for everyone, but it’s good to listen to get a difference in opinion.
It’s important to note that Michael G is covering information that is different from the main program, and this bonus doesn’t add to LOD, it gives a different perspective.
The Language Of Desire Program – What you will learn:
The powerful little secret that will make your man addicted to you and re-energize the intimacy in your marriage
How to protect your relationship and create a bond so strong other women won't be able to make your man stray
What you can do to get his erection on a string for you to control
The phrase you can use to start a open and honest conversation with him, if he’s always telling you what he's really thinking
What you can text to him right now that will have him thinking about you all day and very excited to see you when you get home
One thing men hate about relationships with particular women, and how you can avoid it
How you can get and keep his attention while he is engrossed in something else
How to build a portfolio of experiences he loves in your relationship that will bond you two forever
How to subtly change your relationship from more like roommates to lovers again
How to grow your connection and his confidence in your relationship
Why men hate nagging, how to identify it and a simple technique to fix it
Why your man might be sexually repressed and how you can help him get in touch with his inner stag – binding him to you forever
The 6 fantasy themes and how to identify how your man fantasies about sex when your not around
How to make your man become more attentive and romantic
Why your sex life isn’t what it used to be, and how to get it back on track
How you can turn a mundane situation, into an intimate one
How to keep him thinking about you, even when he’s hundreds of miles away
The best way to use your past intimate experiences, to create new future experiences
What to do when he doesn’t respond to your advances the way he used to
The vital elements of planning your intimate time with your man
And quite a bit more!
A Quick Note on ‘Who is Felicity Keith?’
The LanguageOfDesire.com says that Felicity Keith is a regular woman who, after a relationship shock has taken the time to learn about relationships, men and women and what they want.
Although I haven’t spoken to Felicity directly, she reads the audio version of the program. She also uses email to ‘check in’ after you get the program to see how you are doing and deliver a few more pointers.
PROS and CONS
This program is Felicity’s experience. While going through the program, she will drop in stories or bits and pieces about her life which I think make the program more relatable.
It’s easy to tell from the program that she is quite experienced in this area, and has knowledge. Because of this, she breaks things down really well and makes them quite easys to understand and follow. She doesn’t hold back either, it’s quite a comprehensive program.
Plenty of done for you
There are tasks that you need to do in this program, but as far as wanting to get started straight away there is plenty templates and done-for-you samples that you can use to get started.
You could literally be texting or telling him something you learned 20 minutes after getting your copy. As a man, these techniques would work on me. So you will be sure to get a rise out of him.
Plenty of exercises
They will take work. About 2 weeks i reckon
They will stretch your comfort zone in a good way. Even if you just work on one or two of them to begin with.
I like having the audio program to listen to in the car and when I can't read. But the quality is poor. It sounds like Felicity (who also reads the program) is on the other end of a phone line. Also the audio files aren’t ordered when you download it. So if you want to listen to the whole thing in order, you will need to organize it yourself before putting it in your car.
The program comes in a PDF. But there isn’t much logical flow, and i found myself getting confused at which point i was in the program. Especially at the start. Even when following the pdf i felt a little lost. The modules seem to be independent, which is good, but when first going through it i didn’t like it.
This program is not for the easily offended or women who simply don’t want to go into depth about sex and changing how you look at your relationship in the bedroom.
The program centres itself around sex. The program delves into some of the rauncher aspects of life. This may be an issue for some readers. The program is quite explicit in it’s language. Felicity doesn’t hold back in what to say and do. Some of the ideas and techniques might also be a bit much for some.
Overall (My Opinion)
Felicity, is well versed and you can tell her experience when going through the program. She answers the most common questions in FAQ sections along the way. There is also a customer support email that you can use to ask any questions you might have. Felicity talks about comments, although i cannot see where to leave any (i assume email customer support)
There is plenty of ideas, techniques, tips, stories and samples in this program. In this way it is a good way to get started. It is also a good way to get into things.
What some people may not like is that it does cover a lot of sexual stuff. You may not be comfortable with some of the stuff (some would be weird for me), but the program does give a wide selection, there will be a few things here that you will want to try.
There is a good mix between theory and action here. You can understand why it works and there are some examples and guides on what to do next. Step by step.
This program isn’t going to fix all your problems. But there is a lot of tools in here to help a intimacy starved relationship.
Mr Recommendation (after having gone through the program)
Something important to note is that the Language Of Desire is mostly about meeting his needs. There is a section in the program about getting your needs met. But i think generally, The theory i think behind it is, if you make him happy, he will make you happy.
So, if your after something that is focused on making you happy then there could be two things.. Either this isn’t the program for you, or you will have to be patient and see what your man does after you follow the program.
This program will educate you to become a better partner, and lover. While reading and listening, there were at least a few points that I did not know, or had misconceptions about particular things that LOD helped me identify.
Overall i do recommend this program. I would think that after this program the quality of your relationship will improve.
I think it’s likely that you will take at least 2-3 things away from it and use them on your man. He will be happily surprised and going through the program and understanding what he wants will lead your relationship with him on a new trajectory.
HAS YOUR HUSBAND ASKED YOU for a divorce but says that he will miss you and doesn’t want to give you up? Does he keep sending you mixed signals? Does he go as far as wanting to make love with you? You are frustrated and very confused.
Are you wondering ‘What does he really want?’ Because when you decide to divorce your spouse, aren’t you letting them go in every sense of the word?
Contrary to what you may think, many spouses have reported continuing having sex with their soon to be ex-spouses for a variety of reasons. After all, sex with your almost sex is familiar, probably comforting and the absurdity and the naughtiness makes it all too hot.
Why your soon to be ex-husband wants to have sex with you
Your husband could be finding sex with you familiar and convenient, even though you are separated. He knows what he is getting. He may not be ready to date, but he still gets his needs met in the comfort of your home.
Being intimate could be part of the grieving process for him: the funeral sex. Sex at this stage could really be a way for him to grieve, heal and say goodbye to you.
Again, it could be because of the looming divorce, things are much nicer and calmer. There is no fighting, and the pressure is off. You have gotten some me-time, you are taking care of yourself and you have probably started working out. You're looking much better than you have looked in a long time and he has noticed. He is attracted to you all over again.
It could also be that your husband is conflicted about the looming divorce. This can especially be the case when he sees how much you are hurting. Having sex with you could be his way of comforting you.
Your husband could be finding it hard to turn off his feelings for you. Just because he wants to divorce you does not necessarily mean that he no longer loves you or that he doesn’t wish that things were different. He is probably only dissatisfied with the marriage he has with you at present, but he does not know how to fix things. Feelings do not just disappear just because the marriage is in trouble.
Sex: To have it or not
The little window of time between the separation and divorce is very significant; a lot of important things can happen. It is also when a definite decision will be made to either save or kill the marriage. Many times, you will be willing to do whatever you need to do to keep your family together: including having sex with your spouse.
This is completely honorable considering how much you desire to save your marriage. However, it is highly advisable that you should have sex with your eyes wide open (no pun intended).
Why you should make love with your separated husband
Many times, a marriage could be in trouble despite the fact that the spouses love each other. The love is there, but the ability to make a healthy and fulfilling marriage is not.
Your husband may therefore still have loving feelings towards you only that he does not know how to make your marriage more fulfilling. If you perceive this to the case, then, by all means, go ahead and sleep with your husband. During sex, oxytocin is produced. Oxytocin is also produced during touching and kissing with the highest amounts being released during orgasm.
Oxytocin is a powerful hormone that plays a significant role in bonding spouses together. Having sex may, therefore, set both of you on a journey back to closeness.
Of course, sex alone will not fix your marriage since there is something that is keeping the feelings between the two of you from being sufficient to make your husband stay. You must, therefore, work through whatever the issues might be:
A conflict that keeps cropping up
Lack of intimacy and therefore drifting apart
As you work through your problems, sex will help your feelings to once again take the center stage, followed by the commitment to your marriage.
The big question is, is your husband honest when he says that he still loves you?
Reasons to not have sex with your separated husband
Do you want to save your marriage or just let go? Do you still love your partner? Is your marriage worth saving? Is there any chance of saving your marriage? Only you can answer these questions.
If you have no desire to save your marriage, having sex with your husband is probably a bad idea. Having sex with your husband will not only slow down your healing process but severely compromise your efforts to move on.
Having sex with your husband is also inadvisable if he is involved with another person sexually. Even if you saved this marriage, you would have given your husband the message that you are willing to be intimate with him even when you know he is concurrently having sexual relations with someone else. Is this the message you want to send?
Also, it is almost impossible to compete with an illicit lover. Illicit love is very exciting: the exaggeration of the emotions and the thrill of doing something forbidden. You will find it hard to match up to your husband’s illicit sex when you are emotionally drained by your impending divorce.
If your husband has truly decided to end your marriage, the bonding and closeness that sex brings might set you up for disappointment. If he insists on moving on, having sex with him will set you up for more misery by creating within yourself false hope.
So, what do we say about having sex with your husband even after he has asked for you for a divorce? The decision is yours.
Just a small word of caution, though. Do not allow sex with your partner to go on for too long if he is not deciding to get back together with you. You will be stuck in ‘Limbo land,' and it won’t be good for you.
Also, bear in mind that there is no such thing as meaningless sex with someone whom you still have feelings for. And you can never call it casual when you are embroiled in the inherent misery of a looming divorce.
Many women have experienced the pain and confusion that inevitably accompanies sex with a soon to be ex. If it is clear you are headed for a divorce, put on the breaks.
Give yourself and your marriage some space. You have many decisions to make and negotiations to settle. You need to navigate the divorce with a clear mind. Love yourself enough to allow yourself time and distance to move on.
Thanks for reading. If you were asking ‘my husband wants a divorce but still sleeps with me' I hope this has gone some way to answering your questions.
Disclaimer: This page has links that make money for this site, at no cost to you.
NOT UNDERSTANDING WHAT MEN ARE DOING AND WHY, can leave you very frustrated…. Sometimes enough to give up on men altogether!
But when you do understand him, and you understand him enough to start influencing his behavior, for the betterment of you, him and your relationship… That’s where being in a relationship really comes into its own. And in comes the fun and joy of sharing your life with someone.
The His Secret Obsession program attempts to bridge women and men together, through education of his behavior and motivations.
What is it in one sentence?
This is a guide to help women be in control of their relationships with men. By working with men's primal drives and instincts rather than against them.
His Secret Obsession (HSO) Summary
The course is mostly text and audio versions of that text. There are 2 extras which are video.
Main course (&Bonuses):
Text – Yes
Audio – Yes
Video – No
Text – Yes
Audio – Yes
Video – Yes
Who is HSO for?
Who is it for
This program is aimed at women who have a relationship with a man or at least have a potential suitor. However, single women will find the theory in this program very useful for future relationships.
What is it all about? (Overview)
Do you feel confused sometimes at the actions of men (or a particular man)?
Do you wonder why they seem to make the choices that they make and why do they care so much about some things but not about others?
If so, this program can really help. It covers men's motives for life and how as a woman, you can use them to your advantage, and to help make a better relationship
He as the ‘hero’, and you in control.
It breaks down his primary primal drive. The one that comes before all the rest. The fact that he needs to feel as though he is a hero…
This program shows you how to make him the hero, so you get what you want.
The best part is that the concept is simple and easy to understand. That’s the real beauty of it. It isn’t all basic exercises that a lot of programs like this can be, there is good quality new information available.
It’s straight to the point, with quite a few examples and analogies which help explain the different points.
For those people who really want to know those 12 words, (from the video) I won't reveal them here, but what they are and why they worked in that situation is fully explained in detail
There are also example phrases that can be used, but the author really teaches you how to fish, rather than just tossing you one. You may need to read or listen to the content a few times in my opinion, to get your head around it. You will also need to practice a little bit to get the hang of it.
The main program (His Secret Obsession) is broken up into two main parts
How the Hero Instinct Works (The Theory)
How to Use the Signals (The Practical)
The practical section in the program is still theory-laden, but does give enough to get you started on how to use the theory to help your relationships with your man or men in general
I think that this is a key pro, is that this program can help anyone who is having relationships with men. Whether it be personal relationships, or with men at work, in a social circle or whenever.
Part 2 has real-life applications and examples. These are generally the phenomena found in our psychology that is what helps form relationships. James (the author) identifies it and shows you how it works and how you can put it to work for yourself.
My thoughts of the program along with the pros and cons are towards the end of the article
What you will learn
How every man sees himself and how you fit into that vision
The three things every man craves, and how they explain all of his actions
The three phases of a man's life and how to tell if he is ready to settle down or not (and you can do if he says he isn’t when he actually could be)
How to know if your man is happy in your relationship and how to increase his participation in it
How to ‘train’ a man to get him to do more of what you want
How to spark a mans interest
Questions you can ask him that will have him lavishing more attention on you
How to open your man up to you for better communication and connection in your relationship
How to get him out of his comfort zone
How he wants you to ask him for assistance – it will help grow your relationship
What’s in it
His Secret Obsession PDF and Audio Program
A 184 page eBook
The Secret to Unlocking the Hero Instinct
Part 1: How the Hero Instinct Works
Module 1: The Secret Longing of Every Man
Module 2: The Unspoken Desire He’ll Never Admit
Module 3: Make Him See the Light
Module 4: The Fascination Trigger
Module 5: Why Men Say, “I’m just not ready”
Module 6: How Your Desires Can Fascinate Him
Module 7: The Secret Currency of Happy Relationships
Module 8: Rocket Fuel: How to Build Relationship Momentum Fast
Module 9: How to become His Secret Obsession
Module 10: Get Deeper Intimacy by Revealing More
Module 11: Three Things That Can Go Wrong (and how to fix them)
Part II: How to Use the Signals
Module 12: “The Private Island” Signal
Module 13: The “X-ray Question”
Module 14: The Glimpse Phrase
Module 15: The Secret “Currency” Of Happy Relationships
Module 16: The “I Owe You” Signal
Module 17: The “Damsel in Distress” Signal
One More Thing…
Text Message Formulas – Extra Training
My thoughts of the program along with the pros and cons are towards the end of the article
Text Message Formulas
This bonus is about how to generate interest when you're not around. How you can use texting along with your new knowledge about the male mind to get his attention (among other things).
This isn’t just a massive list of texts you can use to start conversations. More like some sample text messages along with why they work. There’s also a simple formula you can follow to help when first starting. You may need some practice at this.
What’s in it:
How “Curiosity Phrases” Can Keep Him Engaged
How to Create Curiosity Triggers When You’re Apart
Texting Your Life Story
7 Day Quick Start Action Guide
The entire HSO course has a lot of information in it, it can seem like a whirlwind when you first start reading. This quick start guide will help you identify where you are at (there is a quiz in there to help) and give you some simple steps to focus. The ideas are to help build your confidence and show you some results.
A simple to follow 7-day guide and a good way to start implementing the knowledge in the program.
My thoughts of the program along with the pros and cons are towards the end of the article
(The following extras are available at an extra cost to the program)
87 Pages (& Audio)
Is your current relationship feeling a little… stale? Has the honeymoon well untruly warn off? Does your man seem to want to spend time doing other things like playing games, or time with friends?
If this sounds like your relationship then this 87-page guide will take your hand, and lead you through desire in your relationship. Included is how to find your common desires, and how to make him feel like achieving those desires is his new most important goal (or latest game).
There are a few good points including how to keep him interested in moving the relationship forward. Worth a read or a listen. Will make you with some of the relevant research and studies were done in the area of happiness and relationships.
What's in it:
Introduction: The elements of an endless honeymoon
Section 1: Make your wish lists
Section 2: How to get him addicted to making you happy
Section 3: The secrets of the endless honeymoon
Section 4: Making honeymoon mentality with reality
Section 5: Shortcut tips and tricks to making an endless honeymoon
Section 6: Making it work in the current phase of your relationship
88 Pages (& Audio)
This guide centers around 9 ideas/techniques that you can use to help encourage his strong feelings toward you in your relationship. At first, it reads like a guide for the first 3 months of a relationship but these techniques can be used at any time in a relationship.
There is research, that you may have heard of, along with some that you likely haven’t. And it is all related to relationships. There are also good examples to follow, and bad ones to avoid.
Some theory on what happens when two people first meet with a focus on psychology and decoding body language. There are also some different ways to look at particular concepts around meeting someone, including flirting and developing confidence.
Chapter 1: Signal interest
Chapter 2: Flirt
Chapter 3: Get your hearts pumping
Chapter 4: Engage in intimate self-disclosure
Chapter 5: Condition through association
Chapter 6: Trigger a ‘Yes’ mindset
Chapter 7: Make him work for you
Chapter 8: Thrive
Chapter 9: Develop a special type of confidence
The Reverse Attraction Technique
18 Pages (& Audio)
Want to know how to get a guy to open up to you like an old friend? This guide will show you how to manipulate your own interest level to flip a switch that pulls guys toward you like a magnet.
This concise guide will show you how he will talk himself into having feelings for you. It’s a bit of reverse psychology that may seem a little counter-intuitive. But as a man, I can tell you that it works.
The Fairytale Method
16 Pages (& Audio)
Do you have short relationships with men? Burning bright but not for very long? This short guide gives you a technique to create deeper emotional bonds and identify where you may be going wrong.
A quick guide to inviting your guy to have a relationship where he feels comfortable to share his emotions and generally open up.
Instant Authentic Connection
61 Pages (& Audio)
Want a shortcut to a deep connection with a man? This guide explains how we create deep connections and how to ‘create windows of opportunity’ to create a longer lasting and more authentic connection with your partner.
More about creating emotional bonds. Might be a little far-fetched or a bit hard to follow for some. Think of it as a little more ‘advanced’.
What’s in it:
Section 1: The two mindsets that make the difference
Section 2: Shortcuts to an authentic connection
Section 3: Enemies of authenticity
Get a Guy to Commit: A Method for Increasing Attraction While Setting Standards for Your Relationship
13 Pages (& Audio)
This short guide is to help you identify, set and enforce boundaries with your guy. This is very important in a lasting relationship and shouldn’t be skipped. It talks about when the best time to have these conversations is, and how to get your man to open up about what he really wants also.
This guide is dedicated to those single women or those who are in a new relationship mostly. A few rules to follow when setting rules and boundaries for a new relationship.
The Win-Win Negotiation System
7 Pages (& Audio)
Is there a lot of silent treatment, frustration, and disagreement in your relationship? This system contains a quick to use guide based off of a principle created by one of the most prominent social psychologists.
A good rule for any negotiation. Personally, I hadn’t heard of this before. Requires some time so it’s more for the larger aspects of a relationship or something that has caused some angst between you and your man.
The Curiosity Effect
84 Pages (& Audio)
Curiosity is something that we are exposed to all the time. It’s a hint of what something is about but not the full story. This guide shows you how you can use this trait to your advantage, in attracting his interest.
What’s in it:
Section 1: The power of curiosity
Section 2: The simple (yet powerful) rules of curiosity
Section 3: The first curiosity pattern – story
Section 4: The second curiosity pattern – intermittent rewards through games
Section 5: Win his approach with curiosity
Section 6: Know when to be curious about him
Section 7: Reverse the number one threat to long-term relationships
Conclusion: Own his curiosity, you will own his heart
This guide is not as simple to follow as some of the other ones. The concept is sound but you may need a few listens and some practice to understand it fully after you have read/listened to this. You may also feel like a marketer when you are trying it out, which doesn’t feel natural.
Emotional Imprint Method
47 Pages (& Audio)
Relationships involve growth and change. So how do you keep on top of that and prioritize your relationship above all else? This guide will show you how to find things that work in your relationship, and use them to help create a stronger bond.
This is a pretty common sense guide to keeping a relationship fun. I didn’t really get any new nuggets of information here, but it’s always good to be reminded of the basics whilst in your car on the way to work.
Unlock Your Charisma
41 Pages (& Audio)
Think good looks are the only thing that will turn a man’s head? The truth is that to turn heads and have an aura, you need some charisma. This guide covers how others create charisma and how you can create some for yourself too.
Some will find this a little woo-woo. If you're turned off by visualizing, affirmations and positive thinking then you might want to skip this.
Why Men Pull Away
13 Pages (& Audio)
Ever wondered if there was a way to influence his desire? This guide covers why men pull away (it’s sometimes biological and sometimes psychological) and what you need to know to successfully deal with the situation.
A good insight from this short guide. Worth a listen.
Awakening Your Feminine Intuition
10 modules (Approx 90 Pages & Audio)
Learn how to tap into your intuition at a moment's notice when facing a difficult and unique relationship scenario. Plus, you will feel far more confident about your relationship decisions. You will also learn how to tap into a deep well of creativity and insights that will dazzle any man you set your sights on.
This bonus is about trying to tap into ‘intuition' which is mostly about a concept in cognitive science referred to in Daniel Kanehman's book ‘thinking fast and slow'. I think some might find it a little out there also. It wasn't for me.
The Irresistable Vibe
Discover a simple technique you can use to shine with an irresistible vibe. Learn how fulfilling life can be when you’re blessed with true and enthusiastic connections with people everywhere you go.
By now the course is starting to get some familiarity to it. The idea behind this one is a little more abstract than some of the other content also. So some may feel like it's a bit out there to begin with.
The PROS and CONS of His Secret Obsession
This isn’t simply doing exercises or dreaming about ‘the way you want things to be'.
This program provides new insights that show the reasons behind why men do what they do and explain their actions.
Once this is fully understood then it’s easy to in effect, become an artist with it. Be able to get what you want while giving him what he wants. A win-win.
(As a man, when I read this and listened to it I found myself nodding my head in agreement. Although I hadn’t thought of my life like this before, I found it to deliver some honest truths that I didn’t even realize of myself.)
Easy to Follow
The analogies, stories, and examples are simple to understand and make clear the point being made. There’s no second-guessing or what if’s. The program is clear.
In the extras part, there is some video but the main part of the course doesn’t have a video section. If you find video the best way to learn (over text and audio) then there isn’t an option for you.
The author is a bit rude sometimes
Although the content is good, there are parts in this course which I felt treat the reader like a fool. In particular one section where ‘some readers just won’t get this part’… I didn’t like.
Price of extras
I thought the price of the extras was a little bit too expensive. They are good but they aren’t that good. (Note – if you want the extras for less money after you purchase the main program, you can reject them twice before being offered a more favorable price.)
What I think of HSO
Firstly I wasn't sure exactly what to expect after watching the video. If you are in the same boat as I was then here is what to expect
There is plenty of theory in this. Plenty of ideas, research and new insights into your future relationships with men.
The program is very polished and has been through the theory. It’s easy to follow and with the audio program, you can listen to it a few times to have it really sink into your head.
I thought it was enjoyable, easy to follow and helpful. The best part though was the insight. Being able to classify men by one or two simple statements (as their schema) is important.
The extras also compliment the main course which gives you a few more tools to use.
As a man, as soon as I started reading about ‘the hero instinct’ i could see it in my life. I thought about my actions and my priorities in life, and they do revolve around this drive. In a sentence, me trying to prove my worth, and me being drawn to things around the ideas of heroes and striving towards my goals.
I could also see how my wife was fitting into this. Where I felt like she was helping me, and where I felt there was friction.
After going through the program, I think that it’s important to get your head around this concept if you have or are planning to have a serious, long-term relationship with a man.
Understanding how he works, what his motivations are and what he needs to be happy (although he probably doesn't understand it himself) is a massive leap forward towards having better relationships with men.
NOTE: Below is my review of Text the Romance Back by Michael Fiore. I have tried many different relationship programs and I bring some of that experience to this review also. You can see some of my other reviews here. This article contains affiliate links.
IT'S NOT EASY WHEN we feel like we are missing something when it comes to the relationships in our lives..
Because we never really get sat down and talked to about relationships, even though they are one of the most important parts of our lives
So it can seem like divine intervention when someone tells us they can resolve the relationship issues we are facing
Stuff like reconnecting with our partner, bringing the romance back and even getting the state of our relationship back to when we first met our partner
You are probably asking ‘Who is Michael Fiore and how does he propose to get the romance back in my relationship?'
And have other questions like…
What exactly do i get?
What happens after you go through the program?
What are the pros and cons?
What does someone who has been through the program actually think of it?
If so, then this review is written to answer those and other questions. So without any further stalling…
The Theory Behind Text the Romance Back (TRB) (How it Works)
You may not realize that your communication with your partner is not always… letting itself to romance and passion
It happens slowly but we do take each other for granted and our communication reflects that
We might only talk to our partners and tell them i need to go to the shops after work to get bread, do you want anything’ type texts, calls, emails, instant messangers
And although it doesn’t sound like much, it starts to erode your relationship
It’s very much like a breakdown of ‘how to flirt’ and packaged for people in relationships who may have lost the art. Or more correctly, life got in the way and keeps getting in the way.
So when you talked it was to make each other feel good. Not so much trying to do the chores or run errands or do all the ‘necessary things’
This program is a nice ‘relationship reset button', to take you back to when you first met and fell in love. And you didn’t depend on each other, instead you thought about each other but didn’t need each other
Text the romance back (in summary)
Text – Yes (PDF and online membership portal)
Audio – Yes
Video – No (available in extras)
I like myself worksheet
Facebook message secrets
The program is the same for men and women.
Wbo is it for?
It’s really for anyone aged 25+. More particularly those in a relationship but not necessarily. The only time i'd say that that isn't applicable is if your relationship is in more serious trouble. If you don't think that your man will answer texts from you then TRB won't help and it's time to get some more serious help.
What is it in one sentence
Text message techniques to bring back the love, romance, and connection back into your life.
What’s it All About (a Plain English Summary)
Text the Romance Back (TRB) is a system based around 8 different text message techniques.
The system runs for 4 weeks where you have 2 different techniques for texting every week.
The texts start tentatively and simply get his attention, and work their way up from there. (or down depending on how you look at it)
In fact the first week of texting techniques is stuff you can use with your friends and work colleagues if you simply changed words like ‘life’ to ‘team’ or ‘business’
You do also get access to quite a few ‘done for you’ text messages which helps get you started as well as helps you know what to do so u can come up with your own
In fact most of the program is the theory behind why the messages work, when they are best used and what to do if you don’t get a response.
At the start of the program there are 6 core concepts that detail more general love and life principles. Tenants that will help you if you need some guidance with love and relationships overall.
There’s also a few points on what to do if you don’t text (you prefer email, instant messenger or in person) and how the messages can still work for you.
A few points on Michael Fiore
If you’ve never heard of him before then… your like most people. He has appeared on some television shows and other mainstream media but he’s not Oprah either.
I guess the thing that stands out the most about him is that he brings his personality to what he does. And i can understand how some people may get turned off by the side tangent stories, along with the over the top detail in his descriptions and the faster-than-normal rate at which he talks.
Personally i like the personality that he brings… generally.
The stories are relevant and it does make the TRB feel more personal than other products/books I have gone through. Although sometimes the side tangents can get distracting.
Although whether you like him or not, his insights are good and are worth listening to. I don’t think there is any doubt that Michael knows what he is talking about when it comes to relationships.
Simple to follow
I don’t say this lightly. But the program is easy to follow. It’s clear what the ideas are, the actions that you take are also clear and spelled out (literally in case of the ‘done for you texts’).
I like the fact that it’s organised well, that there is a plan to follow and it is simple to follow
Easy to read
I didn’t find this program talking to me about concepts that were over my head or hard to understand.. In fact it was easy to read and although i went through the entire program before i sent a text, then
Taking action is simple
Seeing as there are text messages you can copy and paste taking action is so simple. After you have sent a few of the ones on there then you can start making your own. Mike tells you how to come up with your own, and what will and wont work.
Hard to download everything
It’s easy to download the book, but getting the audios was a bit of a pain. Finding them all and downloading them one at a time, then unzipping them. It’s a pain
Also finding some of the bonuses was a bit of a pain. You need to find them in the members section in the actual book. So if you aren’t reading it online then you need to look for them. Just for the record:
The ‘I like myself game’ worksheet is in the core concepts section
Audio is a little hard to follow:
Michael himself reads the audio version, which is great .It’s always better when the author reads the audio version as you can get a different insight that doesn’t come when an actor does it.
The audio version of the program is read by Michael Fiore and is a bit too fast. The words come thick and fast. However if you’ve already read it or you listen to it a couple of times you do get a better picture of what he is getting at.
Also you will need the text version to copy the texts from.
Your not going to get to the bottom of your more serious relationship problems
Text the Romance Back is a great way to initiate communication with your partner. But it's not therapy or any serious kind of relationship fix. If you can't talk to each other, this isn't going to help.
The TRB program, read by Michael Fiore as mentioned above.
I like myself worksheet:
A quick guide/technique to improve your self esteem. I like it because although it is a little ‘cheesy', it's quick, comprehensive, and easy to do. It also has a use in the TRB program to help you find content for your text messages.
Crib sheet (done for you texts/messages):
A sheet of done for you text messages. A great place to start. Don't be afraid to simply write these down as you see them and send.
Not only do they help you start, but writing them out yourself gives you the feel for how to write more personalized messages in future.
This is simply previous customers questions answered. Worth a browse. You do get access to a customer service email when you get into the members area of TRB, so you can ask any questions that aren't answered here.
Facebook Romance Secrets:
I couldn't find this bonus inside the program. I am not exactly sure how to access it.
How to kiss a man and make him fall in love
Kissing often gets overlooked in the later stages of a relationship, but it is still an important way to connect with your partner. In fact it’s one way you can communicate if some of the other ways you are talking are not working so well. There is three main sections to this extra report.
Why kissing is important (it’s history and place in human culture)
The steps of a great kiss (a kiss broken down into 8 steps)
Kissing techniques – (like a kissing playbook)
There’s quite a bit of content in here for a short report, and some may like the fact that there will be some trial and error with this. There aren’t any pictures/video which in this case is a good and bad thing.
At the very least you will take away a couple of ideas for use in your relationship. There are plenty of ideas in this guide. The 8 steps also provides a platform for more ways to ‘change things up’ and maybe even control the physical side of your relationship better.
There are also some simple truths here, but no shocking suprises.
You will learn:
Why kissing is so important (it’s in our genes),
What happens to a man when he gets kissed ‘the right way
The theory behind kissing
Is finding a good kisser the key to finding a great guy? The answer will surprise you
Secrets around kissing
Ideas around kissing.
My Text the Romance Back Conclusion:
This program is not a fixall for your relationship. It isn’t going to be a magic pill that will fix everything. However, what it does do is give you a framework to build your relationship back up again. Back to when you were thinking of each other during the day, and showing more appreciation and affection for each other.
It’s a simple way to re engage your partner on a romantic and passionate level. I think it’s worth the price and that is why i am happy to recommend it.
Do you know research suggests that babies are designed to be adorable, so they appeal to our parental instincts? The cuteness forces us to give the babies the constant attention they need to survive.
MANY WOMEN HAVE BEEN where you are. When the longing to have a baby is overwhelming…
You already have visions of you mothering this incredible small human being. You constantly think of values you want to instill in your child, and of late you have found yourself googling ‘Private vs. Public schools.
But he says it’s not to be, not right now
He believes that something is holding the two of you back. Whether it be your careers, your relationship status, your living circumstances, your physical and emotional wellbeing, your financial situation… And even though it can be hell, it’s worth the wait.
To look at it from his side, it is true that once you have a child, your life is never the same again.
Parenthood has altered many people’s lives positively while others deeply regret welcoming new life into the world. In an interview, one parent readily admitted to being too much selfish to genuinely care for their child. They felt their child deserved better. Another dad indicated that he simply hated being a parent. Other parents confessed that if they had the opportunity to go back, they would take it.
Parenthood is a profound and life-changing experience.
Parenthood is the world’s craziest roller coaster. There is, therefore, no reason to jump the gun on the process. As with any other superpower, the power of motherhood demands great responsibility. It is worth thinking about and dwelling on until you know for sure that when to have a baby is the right choice for the both of you, and your child.
A word of encouragement: You may think you are running out of time, but you are not. Research indicates that since 1970, the birthrate among mothers between 35 – 39 years has risen from 1% to 14.2%.
So how will you conquer that raging baby fever?
Before we continue, let us agree that motherhood is not like any other venture; like starting a new business or starting a new job. It is about creating a new person.
As much as there is no perfect time to have a child, it helps to stack the odds in your favor. Start by cultivating an amazing relationship with yourself, because you will need the whole of you to take care of your child. Do not settle at being a functional human being, be a thriving woman.
Stop shopping already
You are not being fair to yourself by perusing all those websites that are devoted to taunting you with the cuteness that is baby stuff: Etsy, Target Baby, Faith Baby, and Marshmallow Kisses. Stop taking strolls to the baby shops. And whatever you do, do not buy or accept (from well-meaning friends) any baby stuff.
Stop reading mommy blogs
Worse than looking at and buying beautiful baby things that you do not need is reading about mothers and their experiences. Soaking up their lives, how much they adore their babies and how they are, oh, so glad they have their children, will drive you up the wall.
While at it, avoid shows that transport you smack dab in the middle of other women’s pregnancies, deliveries and children. It is being cruel to yourself. After the episode, the mothers go on with their lives while you go back to yours. Only the difference is, they get to keep the baby while you fuel your baby fever.
If you cannot be around people’s babies without swallowing a lump in your throat, keep off.
Some people may tell you that hanging around babies and witnessing the running noses, the temper tantrums, and dirty diapers will cure you of baby fever. This could not be further from the truth. Ha! If you truly long to have a baby, these things will actually intensify your desire.
The last thought
It is important that when your child comes that they are supported by both parents. If this means waiting a little while, while you keep at your partner to change his mind then so be it. It isn't good for your relationship to not be in agreement on something as big as this. It will only send him away and make him feel more like a passenger than an active participant.
Meanwhile, work on being the best version of yourself so that you can give an innocent little human being the best shot at a great life.
If you are interested in knowing more about how to change your husband's mind, then you can see a short video on what makes men tick here. It's a great insight into men and why they do what they do. It can help in situations like this where you want to see his real point of view and what he's really thinking and feeling, but he won't come straight out and tell you (which, let's be honest, is most of the time).
Thanks for reading this article on ‘i want to be a mother so badly, but he wants to wait'. If you have a comment or query you can get in contact here.