How to Boost your Libido – 5 Ways For A Sustained Sex Life

How to Boost your Libido - Older couple looking happy together

IF YOU USED TO ENJOY making love with your husband… But now it is just something you do for ‘relationship maintenance' to get him off your case then

You are not alone

Low libido is a common problem.  According to Dr. Rebecca Amaru, a gynecologist, reduced libido happens in women as young as 30.

A study that was published in the Journal of Impotence indicated that 43% of the women interviewed revealed that they experienced declining or loss of sexual desire by the time they were 40. The study also showed that 36% of the women who were actively having sex indicated that they were not enjoying it.

Fear not

Here comes the good news, Libido decline or loss is not a permanent condition.

Just as many things can affect your sexual desire: emotional, physical and biological, there are many ways in when you can rectify your sex drive.

5 Ways to Boost Your Libido

1. Practice mindfulness

According to Sherry Rose, MD, women’s sexual desire starts in the brain. Therefore, the daily stresses of children, money, work, and relationships will lead to low libido.

A woman's libido is made up of a complete emotional algorithm. Therefore, if she is confused, tired or overwhelmed, her body will produce more of cortisol (the stress hormone) which consequently decreases the production of testosterone.

Testosterone is a critical component of your sexual desire. Even if you don't have as much testosterone as your husband, you must have enough of it to stimulate sexual desire in your body. Testosterone also initiates blood flow that causes your vagina to become sensitive and more likely to orgasm.

Confirming this theory is the Director of the Woman's Health Clinic at the Mayo Clinic, Dr. Stephene S. Faubian. According to her, the balance of brain chemicals is what mainly influences a woman's libido. Dopamine and norepinephrine increase your sexual desire, while testosterone, opioids, and serotonin inhibit your desire

Did you know: Research shows that even when a woman's body is turned on, she won't recognize it if she is not emotionally open to the idea of making love.  

The importance of mindfulness

Sex therapists indicate that mindfulness exercises like meditation, focused breathing, and yoga help to alter the balance of the brain chemicals in a good way. Mindfulness reduces stress hormones which have been proven to cause low libido. A study that was published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior indicated that women who suffered from sexual dysfunction significantly boosted their sexual responsiveness once they were trained in mindfulness.

Another research that was published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine indicated that women who practiced an hour of yoga each day increased their average scores on sexual desire, lubrication, arousal, orgasms, and overall sexual fulfillment.

2. Solve your marital issues promptly

Marital experts indicate that for many women, low sex drive is intimately linked to their romantic relationships. If a woman is feeling neglected, taken for granted, or is angry with her husband, her sexual desire will be eaten away.

According to Professor Virginia Sadock, a renowned sex therapist at NYU, many women are scared to admit that their relationship is the cause of their desire issues. They are afraid that this admission would mean that their marriage is in trouble.  

However, Sadock indicates that the marital issues that affect a woman’s libido are not the divorce level problems but rather a compilation of small and very fixable issues that pile up over time.

The therapist says that many women are simply too overloaded: too many responsibilities, too much work, too little help and inadequate acknowledgment from their partners:

  • Identify whether there are any issues about your marriage that are bothering you and possibly affecting your sexual drive
  • Next, talk to your husband – but not in an accusatory way. Avoid phrases like: ‘You make feel horrible when…….., you turn me off when….’
  • Assure your husband that you find him attractive and you are interested in rekindling your sex life.
  • Let your husband know how much his affection matters to you and how much his appreciation for the things that you do for the family makes you feel valued and sexy.
  • Inform your husband that you need to feel that he appreciates and cares for you all the time; not only when he wants sex
  • Ensure that you and your husband regularly spend some time together   to keep strengthening your bond

3. Exercise

You may wonder what exercise has to do with sex, but remember, blood flows to your genitals the same way it flows to your heart. Exercise increases blood flow, boosts your hormones and endorphins: testosterone, adrenaline, serotonin, and boosts your feel-good neurotransmitters. All these processes go a long way to increase your libido.

Exercise will also help you to lose weight, which decreases abdominal fat, increases muscle tone, boosts stamina- creating better and stronger orgasms.

Question is: what is holding your back from exercising?

A great way to start an excercise routine is to make it stupidly simple and consistent. For example, put on your gym clothes everyday. It sounds too simple and easy to work right?

But after a few days you will be ‘someone who wears their gym clothes' and it would seem silly not to do some form of exercise… This technique builds your identity as ‘someone who exercises', which is a very large part of the battle that goes unnoticed by many people.

4. Load up on aphrodisiac foods

Cultures around the world have used some herbs and foods as aphrodisiacs for centuries.

Some aphrodisiacs stimulate the nerves in your genitals; others increase the level of nitric oxide, which increases your blood flow to your vagina; while others increase the feel-good chemicals in your brain.

Some of the foods and herbs that are used as aphrodisiacs include:

  • Chinese ginseng
  • Schizandra
  • Rhodiola
  • Dark Chocolate
  • Cayenne
  • Nutmeg
  • Walnuts
  • Asparagus
  • Maca
  • Pine nuts

5. Keep things new and fresh

Routine has its place in a relationship, but new sexual experiences will increase your libido. Science indicates that new experiences help your hypothalamus to increase dopamine in anticipation of an incredible outcome. Dopamine has a significant effect on your sexual desire. The more the dopamine is injected into your brain, the more your sexual desire will rise.  

So, how do you get the dopamine surge?  

Try new things with your husband: exploring new places and trying new activities together will increase the amount of dopamine in your brain. Remember, the new experiences do not have to be extravagant:

  • Explore a new park
  • Try a new hiking trail
  • Sample a new restaurant

These are accessible experiences that are not only affordable but deeply rewarding.

Try a new sex position

Trying new sex positions may be just what you need to increase your libido. You may even find a new favorite position that will enhance your sexual experience in ways that you have never imagined.   

Did you know: There are more than 240 sex positions.

Try as many positions as you can. The process will not just be fun for you and your husband, but you will greatly enhance your bond.

At the end of the night

A healthy libido is worth every effort: the payoff extends far beyond the bedroom.

 Improving your sexual desire has a massive impact on your physical wellbeing: decreased blood pressure, and a healthy immune system.

Improving your sexual desire will also boost your emotional wellbeing: a sense of intimacy and belonging. Besides, a vibrant sexual life will enhance the emotional connection with your husband. Increasing your libido may take a little bit of effort, but it is deeply gratifying.

EXPERT ADVICE – “How Can I Be More Attractive to My Husband?”

How Can I Be More Attractive to My Husband - couple laughing in bed

Can you remember the last time your husband:

  • Told you he was thinking about you?
  • Looked at you lustfully?
  • Touched you seductively?

It's too common an issue. We feel taken for granted in a relationship and wonder where the fun and excitement went. The good news is that intimacy can get better in the long term. Although it needs to be worked on a little…

How you can remain attractive to your husband

Being attractive in your husband's eyes keeps his attention and helps with other issues that arise in marriages. Below are the ways to ensure that your husband has eyes only for you.     

1. Take care of yourself

A lot of marital advice calls on women to pursue their husbands by doing things to and for the husbands. But you can also win your husbands attention by doing things for yourself

As a wife, you are called to take care of your husband, home and possibly children. But, if you are not well, whether physically, socially or emotionally, you cannot take care of your family.

You cannot pour from an empty cup. You have got to take care of yourself first.

This means:

  • Don't work yourself to the bone and give yourself some breathing space
  • Keep an open mind about things rather than chasing perfection all the time
  • Look after yourself physically
  • Watch what you eat and put into your body

2. Build a healthy social life

If you desire a healthy marriage, get a life. Some women discard their social lives entirely once they get married. What you may not realize is that revolving your life around your husband is a huge turnoff.

Having a life outside your marriage will give you autonomy in your relationship and take the pressure to make you happy from your husband.

How Can I Be More Attractive to My Husband - Couple unhappy in bed
When your life revolves around your husband, he will feel pressured and start to withdraw from your marriage

3. Create a balance between the time you spend with your husband and the time you spend apart

How much time do you spend with your husband? If you and your husband spend all your free time together, a little space will help to make the time you spend with your husband more fulfilling.

  • Pursue passions that are not dependent on your husband
  • Nurture your own circle of friends
  • Get involved in an organization that relates to something that you do professionally
  • Do volunteer work that makes you feel fulfilled

Being around him all the time does not leave him any room to miss you. Having some sense of independence and autonomy makes your own life more exciting, gives you something to look forward to and improves your mood. The happier you are, the better you are able to reconnect with your husband during the time you spend together.

On the contrary, if you are not spending any time with your husband, make an effort to spend quality time together. Plan date nights or special activities together. Regardless of how busy you are, you must keep your emotional connection going if you want to remain attracted to each other. When your emotional connection is intact, the attraction and passion will flow naturally.

4. Take care of yourself emotionally

Many times, the extent of your attraction to your husband is a reflection of how you feel about yourself.

When you are happy, and your self-esteem is high, your partner will find you attractive. When you are stressed, distracted and feeling down, you lose the charming appeal to your husband.

It is always easy to project your insecurities and frustrations on the person closest to you – your husband – but this will do a lot of damage to his attraction towards you. Neediness is not attractive at all.

5. Work on your confidence

Confidence is an attractive quality, and lack of confidence will make you seem unappealing.

No matter what you might be going through, focus on your favorite qualities about yourself. Always remind yourself that you are interesting and sexy. If you are going through a rough patch, and you cannot banish those negative thoughts, take up practices like yoga and meditation for a little extra help.

When you have too much on your plate, get help:

  • Use a cleaning service to take care of chores at home
  • Hire a baby sitter for some relief
  • Request a friend to come and help you over the weekend

This will reduce the likelihood of nagging, which is such a buzzkill. Insecurity is a very unattractive trait, and very exhausting to be around.

6. Keep up with yourself

You cannot separate the roles of love and attraction in a relationship. While your marriage can be a result of great admiration for your personalities, ideals, and character, there must have been an element of physical attraction that first drew you to each other.

Think about the first year of your romance: the chances are that you never went out with your husband without looking your absolute best. Now, with a myriad of responsibilities and years of numbing familiarity, you might find that you neglect to put yourself first. You have probably piled up some extra weight, you walk around in overused sweatpants, and your eyebrows have not been twizzled for a long time.

The result is that your husband will still love you, but he will not be physically attracted to you. While sex is not the only factor in a healthy marriage, it is a crucial ingredient, and it begins with you. You need to take care of yourself because you do not only want your husband to find you attractive, but you also want to feel attractive as well.

Taking care of yourself increases your self-esteem, and higher self-esteem translates into feeling sexier. Your sexiness will radiate through, and your husband will not be able to resist you.

So,

  • Stay well groomed
  • Do some manicure/pedicure and paint your nails
  • Buy cute clothes that fit attractively
  • Stay moderately fit: exercise not only keeps you in shape but also releases endorphins which relieve stress and lift your moods
  • Go through your undergarments and throw away the old and unsexy ones
  • And most importantly, smile

Remember: Being attractive is regardless of your age or how long you have been married. As the saying goes, being attractive lasts longer than being pretty.

7. Respect your husband

In a study, Emerson Eggerichs, author of ‘Love and Respect,’ posed the following question to the participants:

If you were forced to choose between the following, which one would use prefer to endure: to be alone and unloved in the world or feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone. From a sample of 400 men, 74% indicated that they would prefer to be alone and unloved rather than feel inadequate and disrespected. A sample from the same number of women showed that the majority of the women would rather feel inadequate and disrespected than alone and unloved.

His conclusion: A husband needs respect like he needs air to breathe, while a woman needs love as much as she needs air to breathe.

Eggerichs believes that many women are ignorant of their husband’s great need to be respected, and this is the source of conflict in many marriages. Your husband needs to know that you believe in him and admire him both privately and publicly.

Every husband is secretly vulnerable. When you disrespect him, he becomes insecure in his role as a husband. The antidote: Show him respect and affirm him. He will become more secure and confident in all the areas of his life.

The respect principle:

When you respect your husband, you have the unfair advantage that steals his attention and makes you irresistibly attractive him. Every other woman will fail in comparison, and you will be the only thing on his mind. Respect is the biggest key to get your husband to want to commit to you truly.

In Summary…

Ultimately remember that your husband’s desire is not even to be attracted to you…….. It is for you to be attracted to him.

The women you are competing with are those who make your husband feel desired, capable and interesting. So keep him feeling young, loved and important. Admire him always and let him know that you are his number one fan.

How to Please Your Man in Bed – A Guide to What Men Actually Want

How to please your man in bed - woman seducing man in bedroom
how to please your man in bed - woman seducing man in bedroom

IN A PERFECT WORLD every woman would know what their man wants in bed. But until then, it is ok to have questions…

  • How can you really satisfy him?
  • What will make him blow his… mind?
  • How can you make him let go and keep from always wanting control?

Spoiler: It’s mostly about your attitude

Many men indicate that they do not enjoy sex because they feel that the women they are with are not equally interested. To discover if this is a problem for you, here are some questions:

  • Do you treat sex with him like a chore that you can’t wait to get over with?
  • Do your sexual encounters have a routine and work as a checklist?
  • Does he see (and hear) any enthusiasm in you?

Your man considers sex a celebration, and he wishes you would enjoy it too.

Do not allow the challenges and pressures of life to push sex to the bottom of your list of priorities.

The ultimate turn on for your guy is seeing you enjoying sex as much as he does. Do not go through the motions, or do it out of obligation, because this is a major turn off. Make your man feel wanted; he has a strong need to be sexually desired by you.

Objectify your man a little, lust after him and let him know how much he turns you on.

After all,

There are immense benefits to sex. For instance, having orgasm releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone. Oxytocin can bring couples closer together, alleviate stress and reduce blood pressure. Who doesn’t need more of that?

Be spontaneous

You can easily fall into a rut: have sex at the same time, at the same place, all the time. Doing something unexpected will drive your man wild.

Surprise him with a wild move

Once in a while, bowl your man with a wild move. Try something erotic that he will not be able to forget soon.

Be naughty

Now and then, shed the good girl image and hold nothing back. Your man will be excited to see this other side of you. For instance, you can introduce some toys or even a mirror into the session and see yourselves in action.  It will be hot.

how to please your man in bed

Take charge

Your man would like you to dominate him once in a while. Have your own version of Shades. For instance, you can tell your man that he can’t touch, move or talk unless you tell him. If he disobeys, he is to be punished. Boss your man a little bit, telling him what to say and how to touch you. Watch him squirm and keep reminding him that you are in control.

Get rough

Sometimes, your man wants to be primal. He wants it rough, and he would be delighted to know that you want it too. Unleash the beast in him and let him know that you are having the time of your life.

Confidence is key

Confidence is the sexiest thing that you could possess. What ruins sex for many women is the insecurity that they have about their bodies.

However, it is always good to remember that your man is with you because he is attracted to you. You are more attractive to your man when you can take your clothes off than when you tell him to switch off the lights.

Your man is a visual creature, and he gets off on seeing you in all your naked glory. If you are too uncomfortable, you can try soft lighting to help you hide the flaws.

However,

The truth is that in all likelihood, your man doesn’t’ notice your little jiggles or the cellulite that you are so consumed with. He is just thrilled to be there with you naked.

Initiate sex once in a while

Once in a while, initiate the sex. Traditionally men initiate sex, but it gets old when he has to initiate every time. Indeed, it might start to feel like you are not attracted to him; like sex for you is an obligation.

So,

Stick your hand down his pants: whisper in his ear how badly you want him, wake him up with your special caresses. Whichever way you decide to initiate sex, you will make your man happy to show him that you want him too.

You don't have to be so to the point either. Just walking around in sexy underwear or putting a show of your latest dresses/clothes can work.

Remember big smile and it will sound weird but it helps to turn around or be preoccupied with something else so you aren't always looking at him. (2 reasons, one is because when you look at him he will feel as though he has to do something. This is pressure which no one wants around sex. The second one is so he can look at you without feeling obliged. i.e. he's choosing to do it himself)

Explore his fantasies

This is the absolute way to pleasure your man in a way that no other woman can. Find out his kinks and fantasies and explore them with him. What does your man dream about? What does he secretly crave? This can be tricky because he wants to share his fantasies with you, but he probably worries that you will judge or shame him.

You, therefore, have to promise your man that you will be open and accepting of his fantasies without judgment. Indeed, your man also longs to know your sexual imaginations.

So, why don’t you make a game of it?

Write out your fantasies and place them in a box. Next time you are feeling up to it, pull one fantasy out. Now, when the fantasy unfolds, you can jump right into fulfilling it. If you need some time to adjust, ask your man what he really loves about the fantasy. You might just find that the fantasy can be enacted in a different scenario that both of you will enjoy.

You will realize that as you explore your fantasies with your man, he will start to open up more about his imaginations. He will be eternally appreciative to you.

The foreplay

Sex experts say that the build-up to sex can be just as much or even more enjoyable than the sex itself. The anticipation, the suspense, and the passion of what’s to come are exhilarating for your man.

The thigh rub

When you are out during a date, or movie or dinner, stroke his thigh with slow movements, moving up towards his groin. Nothing turns your man on like being teased and at the same time knowing that he cannot make love to you there and then. See him get excited and then leave him longing to take you home and whisk you into the bedroom.

The striptease

The sight of you scantily dressed and moving around provocatively will drive your man mad. Select your sexiest lingerie or the one that he loves. Put on some sensual music that will help you strip tease with ease. Go ahead and mesmerize your man.

Touch him

One male organ may be getting all the attention during sex, but your man has other erogenous zones: the chest, the face, inner thighs, and his earlobes.

The results of a study that appeared in the Archives of Sexual Behavior indicated that men care more about cuddling than actually having sex. The study further found that men require three times more touching to create the same amount of dopamine, the feel-good hormone as compared to women.

As a result, caressing, kissing, cuddling and tenderness are more important to your man than you could ever imagine. Put effort into giving your man full body embraces, soothing strokes and kisses for an incredible bonding with him.

Change positions

Nothing kills your sex life like routine. Unfortunately, sex experts indicate that many couples only ever use two to six sex positions.

If you have been together for some time, your man probably craves something different now and then. It is understandable that you have your favorite positions. However, changing positions for different stimulation nourishes your sex life like nothing else could.

Some positions will enable your man go deeper, while some help him to feel other parts of you more efficiently, which he will really love.

Different sex positions are like spices: they give one dish different tastes

Did you know: According to sex experts, there are more than 245 different sex positions

At the end of the night…

Sex can help many stressors in your relationship, but like everything else, you have to put effort.

Further, you must beware of other issues in your relationship that may affect your love life: unresolved issues, anger, and resentment.

Ensure you quickly solve your problems, and whatever you do, do not use sex as a weapon – this will only cause more damage to your relationship.

Thanks for reading this guide on how to please your man in bed

“My Husband Doesn’t Want Sex” – What to Do When He Withdraws from Intimacy

My husband doesnt want sex - woman frustrated with husband in bed
  • Has your husband stopped loving you?
  • Is there another woman?
  • What happened to his sexual desire?  
  • Does he really care?

These thoughts can go round and round in your head when your husband withdraws sexually. But although you may feel alone, you are not the only one this happens to. This story repeats itself in many bedrooms all over the world.

The myth that men want to have sex all the time is simply not accurate

According to experts, almost all marriages go through periods when the husband experiences lower sex drive than his wife.

A study that appeared in the Live Science Magazine revealed that 14.4 per cent of the men surveyed indicated having experienced lack of sexual desire lasting two or more months within the previous year. Another research showed that 15% to 16% of men lose interest in sex at some point in their lives.

Contrary to popular belief, men and women are not that different concerning sexuality and desire. Experts say that in marriage, it is about 50 / 50. 50% of the time, the wife demands sex more than the husband while 50% of the time, the husband wants sex and the wife doesn’t.

Why doesn’t your husband want to have sex with you?

According to the sex therapists, lack of sex is a symptom, not the root of problems in your marriage. It is truly not about sex. Sex does not happen in a vacuum; it occurs within the quality and context of your relationship. Therefore, emotional disconnection, stress, communication problems, and health issues: all these will affect your husband’s ability and willingness to have sex with you.

Some of the reasons why your husband may not be having sex with you include:

He is depressed and not feeling like he wants to have sex

Your husband’s sex drive is wrapped up in his concept of manhood. When he feels like a man, he will want to make love. On the other hand, if he feels like he has lost his masculinity, he won’t. So, the question begs, what does it take for your husband to not feel like a man? When:

  • Your husband is not making any progress at his workplace
  • He feels like he is not achieving his dreams and goals
  • He feels like he is letting you down
  • There is extreme tension in your marriage, and he feels like he doesn’t have a solution

All these can radically decrease your husband’s interest in sex. A man whose masculinity is scarred will definitely have his sexual desire affected.

Your husband is struggling to connect with you on an emotional level

This may be news to you if you believe that only women need to bond emotionally to take pleasure in sex. If you have been emotionally distant from your husband because of pressures at work or other commitments, you may have made him feel unloved and neglected. Your husband should never feel unappreciated or as if you are merely tolerating him: He will find it hard to be intimate with you.

He is no longer attracted to you

If there has been a lot of negative energy in your relationship, your husband might desire you less. Are you always nagging your husband, criticizing him and putting him down? Evaluate your treatment of your husband and see whether you could be doing anything to drive him away.

The same will happen if your husband feels like you have lost respect for him. No matter how long the two of you have been married; your husband still needs to feel that he is a hero to you.

Experts also indicate that weight gain and changes in your appearance might affect your husband’s attraction to you. The problem isn’t love; it is sex.

He may be having an affair

If you have done all you can to revive your husband’s interest in making love and still been unsuccessful, an extramarital affair probably explains it.

A man who has transferred his desire elsewhere will not desire to have sex with you. He may not even be having an affair but he is probably involved with pornography, or he is having an affair with himself; engaging in too much masturbation. All these things can definitely contribute to your husband feeling less concerned about engaging in sex with you.

Low sex drive

Your husband could be dealing with low libido. Physical issues like underlying sicknesses and low testosterone will undoubtedly cause low sex drive. The good thing with this issue is that it is easy to fix as long as your husband visits a doctor. So, what can you do to rekindle the intimacy with your husband?

Acknowledge that there is a problem

The first thing that you must do is raise the issue with your husband. How you bring up the subject with your husband will significantly determine your success in solving the problem. Your husband, like many other men, will find it hard to talk about his loss of desire for sex.

Experts indicate that masculinity and virility are intimately connected. Your husband will, therefore, be uncomfortable with self-disclosure. Remember, if he especially has a low sex drive, he is terrified even to think that he doesn’t desire sex, let alone admit it.

This topic might be embarrassing and even humiliating for your husband, so how you communicate with him is very crucial.

If he is no longer attracted to you

If your husband just doesn’t desire to have sex with you anymore, this is the clearest indication of underlying issues in your relationship. Do you and your husband have unresolved issues? Is your emotional connection what it used to be when you first got married? Does your husband still feel respected and admired by you? Is he still attracted to you? How is the communication with your husband?

Express genuine desire to know what the problem is and show your willingness to work with your husband to make your relationship fulfilling to both of you once again.

If he is experiencing low libido

If your husband lets out that he is having a physical issue like erectile dysfunction, do not panic or overreact. Making a big deal out of your husband’s problem will make him even more nervous about his performance. He may eventually shut down.

Ban sex for a while

This measure may sound counterproductive, but as you and your husband seek a solution to the problem, you should try some non-sexy things: Taking baths together, giving each other massages. This will take the pressure off your husband as he actively seeks for a solution to the problem.

Your husband carries a heavy burden

Whatever the reason for the decrease in sexual desire, your husband is already carrying a heavy load and probably feels as alone in his pain as you.

The anger, pain, and confusion you feel for your husband’s inability or unwillingness to meet your needs for love and sexual fulfilment cannot compare with the burden of inadequacy that your husband carries.

He yearns to be a competent husband. His sense of accomplishment and confidence is tied to his ability to perform in all areas, including sexually.

You are not the victim

As such, when approaching your husband, start from a place of curiosity instead of blame. Let him know that you love him and you want your marriage to work. Let him feel that you are a team and you will get through the problem together.

Your reassurance, acceptance, affirmation and comfort will significantly speed up your husband’s recovery process. Be gentle and empathetic with your husband and let him know that you are willing to work with him through whatever the issue is.

Which is the Best Bedroom Toy For You? Answer These Yes/No QUIZ Questions to Discover Your Preference

Best Bedroom Toys - Woman in bed alone with vibrator

Best Bedroom Toys - Woman in bed alone with vibrator

WHAT'S THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND when you think of bedroom toys?

Some women are quite casual about them. While others put theirs in the back of a drawer only call on it when needed… (And never to be seen by hubby)

No matter where you sit on this scale, there is plenty of discreetly-shipped choices available to you

And to make your next choice the right one, I've put together 5 sets of Yes/No quiz questions. Answer YES to at least 2 of them and then discover what toys suit you and your situation… Enjoy

Are You a Discreet User?

  • Is your husband uncomfortable with you using a bedroom toy?
  • Do you only like to please yourself in private?
  • Do you need something that is small enough you could carry with you?

If you answered yes to these questions then you are a discreet bedroom toy user

You don't want to be defined by it or identified with it, but you want something that will get you ‘cover your mouth excited'…

And comes in a very discreet box that no one will know what's in it

There is a version of a small toy known as a ‘bullet' that is discreet for when you've got some precious alone time. They are small and quiet so you can even use them when hubby is snoring and you're awake.

The Umania Bullet – small and compact

The Umania Bullet

This bullet is small but has an incredibly powerful vibration. And with a simple one button that leaves you in full control of the 10-speed modes

Because it's only 3-inches in length, it is easy to hide and store. It's short size also means it can be used in different positions for stimulating different zones

This bullet is made with ABS it's easy to clean, and users say that it's quiet which doesn't wake anyone up, and lets you focus on what you're trying to focus on

Your husband, the neighbors and anyone in the room next door will be none the wiser

The perfect compliment to some precious alone time, click or touch this link to find out more

Are You a Too Busy for Long Sessions?

  • Do you ever feel the need for ‘the release' but are too tired at the end of a long day?
  • Is ‘me' time ever on your todo list?
  • Do you sometimes want to fit one in but aren't sure you have the time?

If only you could tell your libido that you've got responsibilities, places to be and important things to do…

But where would be the fun in that?

Instead, to crush that craving you need something that can give you the release that you are after, in a timely and effective manner. (Your boss would be proud)

Because in your case the build-up can last a lot longer than the main act, you also need something you can rely on…

So without further ado let me introduce you to the solution of your dreams… (Apart from your husband of course)

He's;

  • 6.3 inches long
  • Can stimulate you all over your body
  • Doesn't smell or leave a mess
  • Is whisper quiet
  • And can take you from Zero to ‘O' in 2 minutes flat…?

He also doesn't snore and fits in the bottom drawer after you have finished with him

Orlena ‘Suction' Vibrator

Orlena ‘Suction' Vibrator

When you want to feel your toes curl but you're too tight for time or exhausted to move then the Orlena ‘Sucking' Vibrator is up for the challenge

The Orlena's reputation for speed is due to its special suction vacuum technology, which is touch-free and works at 5 different intensities

When placed on the finger it doesn't feel like much but gives an intense feeling of suction, that when put on the right place will take you straight to ‘riding the wave'

It also works as a more standard vibrator with 8 different powerful vibration modes

It's easy to clean and waterproof so you can even use it in the bath… not that you ever get time for baths…

So Mrs Busy, it's finally time to set up a meeting between you and your new best friend. Find him here along with discreet delivery options

Are You a Novice User?

  • Would you consider yourself a novice when it comes to exploring yourself?
  • Is masturbation a subject that you don't really want to know too much about…?
  • Do you shy away from sharing about personal topics with your friends?
  • Do you think about you and your vagina as two separate entities…?

You were probably one of those girls that really paid attention at school… So it's unfortunate that they don't really discuss this subject there

You may also think that it's unfortunate that your libido isn't going to magically go away either… But it's going to be a happy time learning to live with it

For anyone, (but particularly someone who is a self-confessed novice) your first buy should be a straight out vibrator. Nothing flash, something that you can use, get comfortable with and get a feel for easily

Look for something that can give you stimulation on the clitoris as well as traditional penetration and rubbing of the G-spot. Other important points include something that is easy to clean, and quiet (so you can focus on whatever you want to focus on without disruption.)

G Spot Rabbit Vibrator
G Spot Rabbit Vibrator

Option 1: PALOQUETH G Spot Rabbit Vibrator

This vibrator covers most bases and will have your heart racing in no time…

The main reason I feel this is a great choice for novices is that the rabbit (the bit with what looks like two ears) is for direct clitoral stimulation, which is a very common and simple way to climax

As well as that, all the standard features apply here:

  • It's whisper quiet
  • 9 vibration modes
  • Easy to use
  • Easy to clean
  • Waterproof

And the angle of the shaft is ergonomically designed to hit your pleasure zone… over and over and over again

It also comes delivered in a very discreet box so not even the delivery man will know what's inside

To book your next special meeting with this special toy click or tap here

Option 2: Don't want another vibrator?

If you are a little more adventurous, you can start playing around with another erogenous zone.

This can add more pleasure and fun if you already have a trusty vibrator and you are a little curious to try something else.

If you are up for it you can try an anal trainer kit. The are four phalluses that come in different sizes so you can see where you belong and are easy to clean

My advice is to buy extra lube, only a sachet comes with the box

Are You Looking to Use Your Toy With a Partner?

  • Are you looking to help bring the ‘magic' back?
  • Is your intimacy time too ‘comfortable?'
  • Does your partner enjoy watching and/or using your bedroom toy?

Men are very visual creatures, so there's no better way to get his attention than to let him watch you

And after you have his attention, the right sex toy can help you encourage some participation…

You only need to make sure that the game is staged so that both parties are getting what they want

As a man, I can tell you that he will want to feel as though he is the one giving you the pleasure that you love, and not so much the toy

So if you are comfortable with giving him complete control, you can start off with something like this…

Thigh Cuffs


Option 1: Rachel's Pleasure Thigh Cuffs

Show him how vulnerable you are without his help with these thigh cuffs

They simply cuff your hands to your thighs which leaves you helpless and in quite a compromising position. (It won't take too long before he figures it out…)

Reasonably priced, well made and the thigh cuffs leave you in an easy position to hold (you don't have to be a yoga queen)

It's also a position that he will like and won't be able to resist

Get your set of these and bring the excitement back to your alone time. See delivery options here.

The only downside to these is that the one size fits all is kind of small. More voluptuous girls may want to try this instead

Option 2: Wearable Bluetooth Vibrator

If you really want to put him in charge, then this little gizmo is for you

All you need to do is put it on, give him the control and let him start the fun

Wearable Bluetooth Vibrator

This can work in the bedroom, around the house, or if you are really adventurous when you are both out in public

You'll enjoy the sensation and he will enjoy having control and giving you what you want

The 32-foot range means you won't know when it's coming and the 9 speeds will keep you guessing… until you get home

The sound is just under 40dB so it's not library quiet but subtle enough for dinner at a restaurant or a night on the town

Discover what the two of you can get away with when you put your naughty minds together. The wearable Bluetooth vibrator is here when you are ready for it

Are You Looking for More Than a Toy?

  • Do you own a drawer full of bedroom toys?
  • Does your interest extend beyond vibrators?
  • Are you looking for a new experience?

One of the most fun things to do is introduce new ways for you and your partner to enjoy each other

It can be hard, (no pun intended) but introducing new things is one way you can get a bit of that spark and passion back that you had when you first met

And if you have used toys to the point where they all seem the same then the good news is that there are other ways to spice things up…

Sex Swing

2nd Generation Sex Swing

If you are looking for a new thrill then this heavy duty, 2nd generation sex swing will help you reach new positions, angles, and spots that you never thought possible

Built around a steel frame and rated to 600lbs, there is now no excuse for slowing down

At first glance, it does look a little awkward. However, reviewers say that once you're set up an in a position the padding on the straps make it pretty comfortable and easy to relax

Great for those of us whose body can't catch up to our imaginations

2-year warranty on parts and available in a few colors, it will take some setting up but if you're looking for a new experience then this should get hubby's seal of approval. Here is everything you need to start that new experience

After it's all over

I hope that you have found something that suits your lifestyle. Thanks for reading this article on finding the best bedroom toys for yourself. If you have any questions, contact me here.