How to Please Your Man in Bed – A Guide to What Men Actually Want

how to please your man in bed - woman seducing man in bedroom

IN A PERFECT WORLD every woman would know what their man wants in bed. But until then, it is ok to have questions…

  • How can you really satisfy him?
  • What will make him blow his… mind?
  • How can you make him let go and keep from always wanting control?

Spoiler: It’s mostly about your attitude

Many men indicate that they do not enjoy sex because they feel that the women they are with are not equally interested. To discover if this is a problem for you, here are some questions:

  • Do you treat sex with him like a chore that you can’t wait to get over with?
  • Do your sexual encounters have a routine and work as a checklist?
  • Does he see (and hear) any enthusiasm in you?

Your man considers sex a celebration, and he wishes you would enjoy it too.

Do not allow the challenges and pressures of life to push sex to the bottom of your list of priorities.

The ultimate turn on for your guy is seeing you enjoying sex as much as he does. Do not go through the motions, or do it out of obligation, because this is a major turn off. Make your man feel wanted; he has a strong need to be sexually desired by you.

Objectify your man a little, lust after him and let him know how much he turns you on.

After all,

There are immense benefits to sex. For instance, having orgasm releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone. Oxytocin can bring couples closer together, alleviate stress and reduce blood pressure. Who doesn’t need more of that?

Be spontaneous

You can easily fall into a rut: have sex at the same time, at the same place, all the time. Doing something unexpected will drive your man wild.

Surprise him with a wild move

Once in a while, bowl your man with a wild move. Try something erotic that he will not be able to forget soon.

Be naughty

Now and then, shed the good girl image and hold nothing back. Your man will be excited to see this other side of you. For instance, you can introduce some toys or even a mirror into the session and see yourselves in action.  It will be hot.

how to please your man in bed

Take charge

Your man would like you to dominate him once in a while. Have your own version of Shades. For instance, you can tell your man that he can’t touch, move or talk unless you tell him. If he disobeys, he is to be punished. Boss your man a little bit, telling him what to say and how to touch you. Watch him squirm and keep reminding him that you are in control.

Get rough

Sometimes, your man wants to be primal. He wants it rough, and he would be delighted to know that you want it too. Unleash the beast in him and let him know that you are having the time of your life.

Confidence is key

Confidence is the sexiest thing that you could possess. What ruins sex for many women is the insecurity that they have about their bodies.

However, it is always good to remember that your man is with you because he is attracted to you. You are more attractive to your man when you can take your clothes off than when you tell him to switch off the lights.

Your man is a visual creature, and he gets off on seeing you in all your naked glory. If you are too uncomfortable, you can try soft lighting to help you hide the flaws.


The truth is that in all likelihood, your man doesn’t’ notice your little jiggles or the cellulite that you are so consumed with. He is just thrilled to be there with you naked.

Initiate sex once in a while

Once in a while, initiate the sex. Traditionally men initiate sex, but it gets old when he has to initiate every time. Indeed, it might start to feel like you are not attracted to him; like sex for you is an obligation.


Stick your hand down his pants: whisper in his ear how badly you want him, wake him up with your special caresses. Whichever way you decide to initiate sex, you will make your man happy to show him that you want him too.

You don't have to be so to the point either. Just walking around in sexy underwear or putting a show of your latest dresses/clothes can work.

Remember big smile and it will sound weird but it helps to turn around or be preoccupied with something else so you aren't always looking at him. (2 reasons, one is because when you look at him he will feel as though he has to do something. This is pressure which no one wants around sex. The second one is so he can look at you without feeling obliged. i.e. he's choosing to do it himself)

Explore his fantasies

This is the absolute way to pleasure your man in a way that no other woman can. Find out his kinks and fantasies and explore them with him. What does your man dream about? What does he secretly crave? This can be tricky because he wants to share his fantasies with you, but he probably worries that you will judge or shame him.

You, therefore, have to promise your man that you will be open and accepting of his fantasies without judgment. Indeed, your man also longs to know your sexual imaginations.

So, why don’t you make a game of it?

Write out your fantasies and place them in a box. Next time you are feeling up to it, pull one fantasy out. Now, when the fantasy unfolds, you can jump right into fulfilling it. If you need some time to adjust, ask your man what he really loves about the fantasy. You might just find that the fantasy can be enacted in a different scenario that both of you will enjoy.

You will realize that as you explore your fantasies with your man, he will start to open up more about his imaginations. He will be eternally appreciative to you.

The foreplay

Sex experts say that the build-up to sex can be just as much or even more enjoyable than the sex itself. The anticipation, the suspense, and the passion of what’s to come are exhilarating for your man.

The thigh rub

When you are out during a date, or movie or dinner, stroke his thigh with slow movements, moving up towards his groin. Nothing turns your man on like being teased and at the same time knowing that he cannot make love to you there and then. See him get excited and then leave him longing to take you home and whisk you into the bedroom.

The striptease

The sight of you scantily dressed and moving around provocatively will drive your man mad. Select your sexiest lingerie or the one that he loves. Put on some sensual music that will help you strip tease with ease. Go ahead and mesmerize your man.

Touch him

One male organ may be getting all the attention during sex, but your man has other erogenous zones: the chest, the face, inner thighs, and his earlobes.

The results of a study that appeared in the Archives of Sexual Behavior indicated that men care more about cuddling than actually having sex. The study further found that men require three times more touching to create the same amount of dopamine, the feel-good hormone as compared to women.

As a result, caressing, kissing, cuddling and tenderness are more important to your man than you could ever imagine. Put effort into giving your man full body embraces, soothing strokes and kisses for an incredible bonding with him.

Change positions

Nothing kills your sex life like routine. Unfortunately, sex experts indicate that many couples only ever use two to six sex positions.

If you have been together for some time, your man probably craves something different now and then. It is understandable that you have your favorite positions. However, changing positions for different stimulation nourishes your sex life like nothing else could.

Some positions will enable your man go deeper, while some help him to feel other parts of you more efficiently, which he will really love.

Different sex positions are like spices: they give one dish different tastes

Did you know: According to sex experts, there are more than 245 different sex positions

At the end of the night…

Sex can help many stressors in your relationship, but like everything else, you have to put effort.

Further, you must beware of other issues in your relationship that may affect your love life: unresolved issues, anger, and resentment.

Ensure you quickly solve your problems, and whatever you do, do not use sex as a weapon – this will only cause more damage to your relationship.

Thanks for reading this guide on how to please your man in bed

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