EXPERT ADVICE – “How Can I Be More Attractive to My Husband?”

How Can I Be More Attractive to My Husband - couple laughing in bed

Can you remember the last time your husband:

  • Told you he was thinking about you?
  • Looked at you lustfully?
  • Touched you seductively?

It's too common an issue. We feel taken for granted in a relationship and wonder where the fun and excitement went. The good news is that intimacy can get better in the long term. Although it needs to be worked on a little…

How you can remain attractive to your husband

Being attractive in your husband's eyes keeps his attention and helps with other issues that arise in marriages. Below are the ways to ensure that your husband has eyes only for you.     

1. Take care of yourself

A lot of marital advice calls on women to pursue their husbands by doing things to and for the husbands. But you can also win your husbands attention by doing things for yourself

As a wife, you are called to take care of your husband, home and possibly children. But, if you are not well, whether physically, socially or emotionally, you cannot take care of your family.

You cannot pour from an empty cup. You have got to take care of yourself first.

This means:

  • Don't work yourself to the bone and give yourself some breathing space
  • Keep an open mind about things rather than chasing perfection all the time
  • Look after yourself physically
  • Watch what you eat and put into your body

2. Build a healthy social life

If you desire a healthy marriage, get a life. Some women discard their social lives entirely once they get married. What you may not realize is that revolving your life around your husband is a huge turnoff.

Having a life outside your marriage will give you autonomy in your relationship and take the pressure to make you happy from your husband.

How Can I Be More Attractive to My Husband - Couple unhappy in bed
When your life revolves around your husband, he will feel pressured and start to withdraw from your marriage

3. Create a balance between the time you spend with your husband and the time you spend apart

How much time do you spend with your husband? If you and your husband spend all your free time together, a little space will help to make the time you spend with your husband more fulfilling.

  • Pursue passions that are not dependent on your husband
  • Nurture your own circle of friends
  • Get involved in an organization that relates to something that you do professionally
  • Do volunteer work that makes you feel fulfilled

Being around him all the time does not leave him any room to miss you. Having some sense of independence and autonomy makes your own life more exciting, gives you something to look forward to and improves your mood. The happier you are, the better you are able to reconnect with your husband during the time you spend together.

On the contrary, if you are not spending any time with your husband, make an effort to spend quality time together. Plan date nights or special activities together. Regardless of how busy you are, you must keep your emotional connection going if you want to remain attracted to each other. When your emotional connection is intact, the attraction and passion will flow naturally.

4. Take care of yourself emotionally

Many times, the extent of your attraction to your husband is a reflection of how you feel about yourself.

When you are happy, and your self-esteem is high, your partner will find you attractive. When you are stressed, distracted and feeling down, you lose the charming appeal to your husband.

It is always easy to project your insecurities and frustrations on the person closest to you – your husband – but this will do a lot of damage to his attraction towards you. Neediness is not attractive at all.

5. Work on your confidence

Confidence is an attractive quality, and lack of confidence will make you seem unappealing.

No matter what you might be going through, focus on your favorite qualities about yourself. Always remind yourself that you are interesting and sexy. If you are going through a rough patch, and you cannot banish those negative thoughts, take up practices like yoga and meditation for a little extra help.

When you have too much on your plate, get help:

  • Use a cleaning service to take care of chores at home
  • Hire a baby sitter for some relief
  • Request a friend to come and help you over the weekend

This will reduce the likelihood of nagging, which is such a buzzkill. Insecurity is a very unattractive trait, and very exhausting to be around.

6. Keep up with yourself

You cannot separate the roles of love and attraction in a relationship. While your marriage can be a result of great admiration for your personalities, ideals, and character, there must have been an element of physical attraction that first drew you to each other.

Think about the first year of your romance: the chances are that you never went out with your husband without looking your absolute best. Now, with a myriad of responsibilities and years of numbing familiarity, you might find that you neglect to put yourself first. You have probably piled up some extra weight, you walk around in overused sweatpants, and your eyebrows have not been twizzled for a long time.

The result is that your husband will still love you, but he will not be physically attracted to you. While sex is not the only factor in a healthy marriage, it is a crucial ingredient, and it begins with you. You need to take care of yourself because you do not only want your husband to find you attractive, but you also want to feel attractive as well.

Taking care of yourself increases your self-esteem, and higher self-esteem translates into feeling sexier. Your sexiness will radiate through, and your husband will not be able to resist you.

So,

  • Stay well groomed
  • Do some manicure/pedicure and paint your nails
  • Buy cute clothes that fit attractively
  • Stay moderately fit: exercise not only keeps you in shape but also releases endorphins which relieve stress and lift your moods
  • Go through your undergarments and throw away the old and unsexy ones
  • And most importantly, smile

Remember: Being attractive is regardless of your age or how long you have been married. As the saying goes, being attractive lasts longer than being pretty.

7. Respect your husband

In a study, Emerson Eggerichs, author of ‘Love and Respect,’ posed the following question to the participants:

If you were forced to choose between the following, which one would use prefer to endure: to be alone and unloved in the world or feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone. From a sample of 400 men, 74% indicated that they would prefer to be alone and unloved rather than feel inadequate and disrespected. A sample from the same number of women showed that the majority of the women would rather feel inadequate and disrespected than alone and unloved.

His conclusion: A husband needs respect like he needs air to breathe, while a woman needs love as much as she needs air to breathe.

Eggerichs believes that many women are ignorant of their husband’s great need to be respected, and this is the source of conflict in many marriages. Your husband needs to know that you believe in him and admire him both privately and publicly.

Every husband is secretly vulnerable. When you disrespect him, he becomes insecure in his role as a husband. The antidote: Show him respect and affirm him. He will become more secure and confident in all the areas of his life.

The respect principle:

When you respect your husband, you have the unfair advantage that steals his attention and makes you irresistibly attractive him. Every other woman will fail in comparison, and you will be the only thing on his mind. Respect is the biggest key to get your husband to want to commit to you truly.

In Summary…

Ultimately remember that your husband’s desire is not even to be attracted to you…….. It is for you to be attracted to him.

The women you are competing with are those who make your husband feel desired, capable and interesting. So keep him feeling young, loved and important. Admire him always and let him know that you are his number one fan.