HOW AWESOME WOULD IT BE TO have your dream guy desire you and only you forever? To never fear that he will be attracted to other women while he is in a relationship with you…
While attracting his attention is one thing, getting him to develop a deep emotional attachment to you is another.
Why emotional attachment?
Emotional attachment is what will make a guy want to spend the rest of his life with you. It is what will make him go out of his way to make you happy.
Indeed, it is this attachment that will motivate your man to yearn to spend as much quality time with you as possible. It is because of emotional intimacy that your man will be blind to the miniskirts and push-up bras all around him, and come home to you every night.
It’s when he chooses you because he feels something he cannot get with anyone else. It’s on another level to physical attraction, commonalities or even compatibility. And it’s the level you want to be on to keep your dream guy coming back to you.
So how do you play at this level? Here are the 7 rungs to the emotional attachment ladder you need to climb to get there
1. Believe that love can last forever
There is nothing as painful as losing your man to someone else. While statistics on the success of relationships are not encouraging, research shows that many couples are still deeply in love after decades together. Scientists say that love can last – much more than we give it credit for.
Indeed, research in neuroscience has proven that intense romantic love can last a lifetime. It is, therefore, possible to not only get into a great relationship with your dream man, but it is also possible to nurture a fulfilling, long-lasting relationship. The secret is in creating a deep emotional intimacy with him.
2. Change your mindset
Many women work hard to attract the men of their dreams, but deep down they do not believe that they can experience long-lasting relationships. Your mindset is critical to the success of your relationship.
Consider the following beliefs that some of us hamper:
- A man will always look for something more outside the relationship.
- It is not going to work out, men always leave.
- A man will always feel attraction for other women. 80% of long-term relationships fail anyway.
- One woman cannot meet all the needs of a man.
These kinds of negative thoughts will sabotage your relationship even before it has started. If you bring fear, doubt, and reservation to your relationship, you will never form a deep emotional attachment to your partner.
Here is an interesting fact:
As a woman, you are always influencing your partner. No matter what is happening around you, you can fulfill a man so much that he is so attracted to you that he does not notice any other woman. Haven’t you heard of men who have stuck to their wives like glue for life, completely in love?
You must have enough be confidence in yourself to believe that you can be enough for one man; forever. Once you have this confidence, you will attract commitment and devotion from your man.
You have no idea how much influence you have on your man when you dare to acknowledge that you already have it within you to be more than enough for your man for life.
3. Worship your man in the bedroom
To make a man feel deeply attracted to you, make him feel like your personal sex deity. Men love sex because it boosts their ego. For a man, sex is not just a physical activity.
Fact: A man who is in a serious relationship equates sex with love. It is his way of connecting with you. During sex, the bonding hormone: dopamine is released. During those intimate moments, oxytocin is also produced. Oxytocin is responsible for increasing a man’s attraction for you.
If you know your man well enough, you can keep these bonding chemicals flowing in his brain:
- Discover your man’s sexual triggers and how to push his buttons to make him obsessed with you. Be open with your sexual affection.
- Touch and caress your man lovingly and tenderly whenever an opportunity arises. This soothes him and invites him into an emotional connection.
- Learn how to receive your man’s touch. Whenever your man touches you, relax into it like butter on a hot blade. Melt in his warmth.
- Don’t be afraid to initiate sex. This excites your man and shows him that you want him as much as he wants you.
4. Become his haven
Through the passage of time, men have been elevated to close to perfection status: The ‘knight in shining armor syndrome.’ The man is expected to be strong, complete and whole in all the areas of his life. This has put tremendous pressure on many men. Many women attach a person to their man that he cannot possibly live up to.
The man has been denied the opportunity to have weaknesses, to cry, to fail, to be human. What unrealistic expectations many women have for their men! The truth is, like any other human being, your man needs a soft place to fall.
- Offer him emotional and physical safety. Has he had a bad day? The moment he gets home, he should feel that he is walking into his haven. In your presence, he is not judged, and he feels protected from the world. Your emotional bond will never be broken.
- Give him space to let his emotions out. The more your man can be himself around you, the more emotionally attached he will become.
- Keep your man’s secrets. When he knows that he can come to you and share whatever is in his mind, you will become his confidant; his best friend. If he truly feels in his heart that he can trust you, he will never feel the need to stray away. He will genuinely let his guard down and become even more attached to you.
Teach your man that you have his back, that he can trust you like no other person on this planet. You will form an emotional bond that no one and nothing can break.
Rather than feel terribly disappointed when your man falls short, ask yourself, ‘how better you can support him?’
5. Build his adrenaline
Boredom can be a massive obstacle to emotional connection. You will form a stronger emotional bond if you keep things interesting. Research shows that couples who experience strong emotional attachment are those who enjoy participating in challenging and new activities.
In a relationship, you will sometimes get into those grey areas where nothing exciting is going on. Shaking things up now and then with something exciting is a good idea. When you get your man’s heart pumping, it tricks his brain into thinking that his excitement is arousal at being with you. This creates a deeper connection with you.
Remember: it is not how much time you spend together. It is how you spend the time that will increase your emotional attachment. And it does not have to be something elaborate. Seek out simple mentally challenging ways to break and spice up your daily routines.
6. Be supportive of his time alone
According to author Deborah Tannen, suffocating a man by denying him some free time is the fastest way to kill a relationship. A man needs breathing room in a relationship for his hobbies, his friends and to tail away on his projects so that he can feel fulfilled.
Dr. Rick Nauert says that giving a man space is especially important if he is under stress. He needs time to concentrate, reflect and figure out the next step.
- If you can learn to sense when your man needs a break, all the better. Always set a time when your man will be back and make plans for later. You will always have more to talk about.
- Smile when he says he is off to his man cave; give him a kiss. Your man will always feel seen, heard and treasured.
7. Always make him feel like he is your hero
Men want to be needed. He wants to feel like he adds to your life something that you cannot get anywhere else.
Have your man do things for you. Even if you can open that jar by yourself, having him open it will make him feel great about himself and more connected to you. Your man needs you to need him in your life. Period.
Praise your guy for all his accomplishments. You need to be his number one fan. He will want to excel in everything including your relationship. The emotional intimacy will grow because he knows he will always get a pat on his back.
Express gratitude for all the things he does for you. He does not make an effort to make you happy for no reason. Do not just be grateful for the nice things that he does for you, but for all his sacrifices out there to make you happy.
Affirm your man: Let him know that you believe that he can do whatever he puts his mind to because of all the fantastic qualities that he possesses. Men have tender egos. A man needs frequent reassurance about himself: his attractiveness, his career path and his efficacy as a partner. So let your praise loose.
Fact: The more your praise his positives, the more you will see them.
Remember, creating a deep connection with your man is all about engaging and connecting with him on ways that stimulate him. Focus your attention on your man now and then and ask yourself how you can make him feel special. If you do this it will help you will effortlessly thrive in your relationship.
If you want to know more about how men work, then I recommend you watch this short video on how men view commitment and relationships. It is an eye-opener.
Thanks for reading my guide on things every husband desires from his wife. If you have any comments queries or questions you can contact me here.