WHEN YOU LOOK AT HIM INSTEAD OF LOVE, you see a tired, impatient look in his eyes.
And all joy has drained from his life. He has not said anything, but you have started to feel less important than his work, his friends, and even his phone. Now you can hardly get him to spend any time with you. He always seems busy doing one thing or the other…
You try to win back his attention
And so you work even harder to attract his attention; to make him happy. You think that pleasing him will make things better, only to realize that your efforts only make him resentful.
You no longer feel validated, and affection has become a scarce commodity. And then it hits you; ‘Does my husband love me? or has he fallen out of love'
8 Signs that your husband does not love you anymore
Often, there are signs that your husband no longer loves you. The problem is not inadequate signs but that wives do not want to see and accept them. It is not easy to admit that your husband has fallen out of love with you.
The following signs may be an indication that your husband is losing interest in you.
Before reading on, prepare to step back from your relationship for a moment and examine it from the perspective of an outsider. It can be helpful to use a pen and paper and write down a yes or a no in a column to keep score as independently as possible.
1. Sudden absence
One telling sign that your husband doesn't love you anymore is his absence. All of a sudden, he needs a lot of space. You get a distinct feeling that your husband is avoiding you. Experts say that men who fall out of love with their wives start coming home late and spending more time away.
He will give excuses such increased work at the office. He might also start going more to the gym. If you have consistently been spending weekends together, he will start making other plans.
Eventually, his excuses for his absence become more and more flimsy. One thing that is apparent is that it becomes harder and harder to connect with him. This is a clear indication that something is wrong.
2. Lack of interest
A sure sign that your husband may not love you anymore is that he has become less and less interested in the day to day happenings of your life:
- He is no longer interested in knowing how your day was.
- He does not inquire about your hobbies and interests anymore.
- He might start making plans without involving you.
- He no longer compliments you, and you don’t feel that he appreciates you or that he is attracted to you anymore.
Generally, if your husband is no longer engaged in your life, it is a bad sign.
3. He has started to disrespect you
Your once loving husband has started to treat you rudely. He makes negative comments and criticizes you all the time. He may start verbally or emotionally abusing you, and his behavior has become passive-aggressive. You will find yourself walking on eggshells around him.
He might start to compare you with other women or your relationship with other couples’, in a negative light. Suddenly, everything you do irritates him, even those little quirks that he once thought were cute.
When you husband starts hurting you intentionally, this a clear indicator that he has lost interest in you.
4. He no longer cares about your emotional and sexual needs
There are many reasons why your sexual life can slump. However, if there is a definite shift in the way he interacts with you physically, it could mean that he is no longer attracted to you. If it feels as though the passion is completely dead and he shows no interest in reviving it, he is probably falling out of love with you.
You will notice that he is not doing anything to reciprocate your efforts at intimacy. If you realize that your husband no longer focuses on your needs or even bothers to satisfy them, something is wrong in your relationship.
5. The way he handles conflict has changed
When a partner has fallen out of love, he handles disagreements differently than he used to. All couples have their individual style of conflict resolution. However, when a couple’s relationship is stable, they use a relatively consistent method to solve their conflicts.
However, when love starts to wane, so does the attention to conflict resolution. Is your husband:
- Indifferent; altogether giving up on arguing? He instead placates you and goes ahead to do what he wants anyway?
- Picking abrupt and confusing fights and then using them as an excuse to leave the scene?
- Choosing to stay angry long after you argued?
If your husband no longer genuinely wants to settle your conflicts and fix your relationship, then something else is going on with him.
6. He discusses your relationship in a negative, hopeless manner
Men are problem solvers. If there is a problem, especially with the woman that they love they will do everything to solve it.
When he falls out of love, he will not take any responsibility for the situation. He will blame you for everything that is wrong with your marriage. His tone will also turn from one of genuine curiosity to one of resignation. You will hear things like ‘I am just not happy anymore’; ‘is this all worth it?’
If he has decided that there is no way of fixing your relationship, he is looking for a way out of the marriage.
7. He has become obsessed with his phone or device
While he no longer communicates with you when you are a part, he will stay glued to his phone when you are together. This is a way of distracting himself from spending real time with you.
If he is flirting with someone else, he will never put his phone down in the fear that you will discover he is emotionally unfaithful (or even worse). If he no longer finds your presence stimulating, then he has probably lost all interest in you.
And the obvious one:
8. He stops telling you that he loves you
If your husband has shifted from saying ‘I love you’ to always just ‘me too,’ he is probably losing interest in you. If you observe this, stop saying ‘I love you’ for a few days and see what happens. If he also stops expressing his love, then clearly there is a problem.
We hope you have a much better picture of whether he loves you or not. This is a crucial moment in your relationship that will determine whether you will live happily ever after or he leaves you.
If you have kept score, and indeed discovered that he is losing interest in you, do not panic. Wondering whether a husband loves you is one of the most common questions many wives ask during a rough patch in their marriage. You are not alone, and you know what, your marriage can rise from these ashes and blossom once again.
Many times, a marriage needs to hit rock bottom before it can be rebuilt and revived.
Thanks for reading my guide on ‘does my husband love me?' – the checklist to know if he has checked out. You can contact me here